Juvi // Fillie [COMPLETED]

10.

   "Millie?" My million thoughts are interrupted as I hear Finn's voice ask me that same damn question again and again. "Who is he Millie? Is he why you are here?" He didn't ask the second question the previous times. The one question I was afraid of this entire time. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I was frozen in place with hot tears streaming down my cheeks. "I-I-I'm sorry, Finn. I...." I cannot continue. I look down, the tears now falling on the mattress. At this point, I am full on sobbing, both my hands on my face, my breathing pattern off. I can feel Finn's stare on me. He didn't know what to do. And neither did I.

   I eventually fell asleep after crying for what felt like eternity. But, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep on Finn again because I was just so damn tired and was so weak I just plastered on my bed, not caring who or what I landed on. I sit up in my bed, Finn right on my side his arm still around my waist. He was so cute when he slept.
Wake him up, Millie. Tell him the truth. No more lies. No more.
I gently pushed Finn's shoulder, as he slowly opened his eyes, and sat up, his arm still not moving from my waist. I looked down at his arm, and he quickly moved it away shyly. I grabbed his arm and looked him right in his mesmerizing brown eyes. "Keep them there, Finn." He gently puts them back, as we just stare at each other in silence. It was a nice silence, though. "Finn, I feel safe with you." Is all I say, as he slightly smiles. That damn smile gets me every time. It's just enough to make your heart melt, you know? "Finn, I need to tell you everything. No more hiding it. Although it will be tough to talk about it, I will try to get through-" "Millie it's totally fine. Take an eternity, and I will still be here listening." Just that sentence was enough to make me want to kiss him right then and there. But there were other things to get done first.
   "Well, it all happened so fast, but I remember every detail from that horrid day.." I begin, not turning back now. "That Jacob boy, he was my boyfrie-well ex-boyfriend now, but yes he was my "one and only" I guess. Well I don't handle jealously very well, and that was the main downfall of what happened." I took a pause so I could breath, then continued. "I hadn't known a damn thing. I was so naive. So young and dumb. I didn't know he was cheating on me. I had no idea. But I had started to hear rumors about it from every single person I talked to. So I decided to test it. I told Jacob I was going for a night out, but I wasn't. I was going to pretend to leave, but then just stay in the house and catch his stupid ass right in the action. Well, everyone was right. I wish they weren't. I really do, but I never thought I would do it.." I said everything so fast, I didn't realize I was about to tell Finn the truth. I began to choke up, but I wasn't going to let that bother me and disrupt me. And cleared my throat and continued. "I saw her. I saw my own damn best friend with my boyfriend. Jealousy just kept telling me bad things in my had. I felt a monster grow inside of me. Like...a darkness. I couldn't stop it. I ran. So fast. I grabbed something I could never even think of taking or using. Do it. Do it. It's all I could hear. I ran back to her. That bitch. I pointed, and without hesitation, I pulled the trigger. I pulled it again. And again. And again. Jacob just stood there in horror and shock. Just like I had. I pointed the gun at him too. I was going to do it. I could, I would, I should. But I didn't. I just dropped the gun. And I ran once again. So so fast. To the safest place I knew. My mom. Man...just to see her face again. Just to feel her embrace one more time. I would kill for that opportunity. I only remember being pushed in a cop car, and turning around to see my mother, crying, along with my little sister. The sadness in their eyes. I miss them more than anyone in this entire world. I killed my bestfriend, lost my boyfriend whom I thought I loved to dearly, and I just lost every single thing I lived for that day. I just....I-I" I was done. So broken. I had spilled my entire heart out to Finn in a matter of minutes. I just cried and cried, until Finn came closer and hugged me so tight. He hugged me so tight, I thought He might break my back. But it didn't matter. Nothing did at that moment. Just Finn and I, embracing each other. "Thank you Millie, so much, for telling me everything. Thank you." He said as he continued to hug me.

Well, I didn't tell you everything, Finn. I forgot to tell you one thing.

I love you.