Once Upon A Dream (Kris Bryant)

42- If I Don't Have You

Jayden

After the second week in the hospital things got a little easier. The medication finally started to make a difference and my whole body didn't hurt. They finally let me take a shower and I can have light human contact. I was taken from ICU to the normal hospital part where I will be for at least another week and a half, but probably longer.

My parents came and they brought me my guitar because I'm a brat and wanted my guitar. They stayed with me for a few days and made me laugh but they have lives too. Just because my life stopped doesn't mean theirs did. So they all return to where they belong while Kris and Anthony decided to stay.

Most days I sit on the hospital bed writing songs. Just strumming along to whatever I feel in my heart at the time. It was never hard to write in times like this where your emotions are high and I need a release. I couldn't really exercise and I wasn't mad so yelling wouldn't solve much. So I did what I did best when my mind was busy and organize it into a song.

I sit on my bed sitting cross cross applesauce. My guitar in my lap as I hum along. I sing lightly to myself for this particular song has been stuck in my head for days. There's usually that one special song when this happens to me but this one was stuck for a different reason. It was stuck because it couldn't get out, no matter how loud I sang it or how hard I played it, it was just stuck.

"Knock knock" someone says. The door opens but I don't see Kris. I see a pile of stuffed animals and cards and candy and ballloons and flowers.

"What the hell..." I trail off as the pile of stuff moves to the chair. He drops evening into the chair and lets off a huff.

"There's about seven more loads like that one" he tells me and my eyes go wide.

"Wait why" I ask.

"They're from fans. They didn't know where in the hospital you were so they just had it shipped here and said who it was for. A lot of people are praying for you" he says handing me a stack of cards.

"I know, I can feel it" I admit. "But I cant accept these" I insist.

"You don't have a choice. If you don't take them it will all be thrown out and that's a lot of time and money wasted" he insists.

"Well then I guess I have a lot of thank you cards to write" I claim.

"I guess so" he laughs.

The rest of the things get delivered and I thank everyone who helped bring it up. We get the things loaded in a truck headed to Chicago and I start reading the cards and try my best not to cry.

Through this whole ordeal I've learned how loved I am. I am greatfully appreciative of my fans and the fact that they're such good people. I wouldn't change them for the world. And there's a lot of people going through something similar to what I am and it was empowering to hear their stories. How they got through and how I might have helped them. I make sure to count my blessings and now I have over three hundred of them.

"Where did you send those things to" I ask.

"Anthony's place" he says.

"Oh" I sigh.

"Oh" he asks.

"Well I've had a lot of time to think in here. More time than what is good for me. But I realized something not too long after I got here. That it's going to be me and you for the rest of our days. For better or for worse. And though this has been worse than anything I have ever experienced, you made it better. I want the opportunity to be everything to you since you're everything to me. And I think the best way to do that is if I moved in with you" I say slowly.

His lips pull tight revealing his perfect teeth as he looks down at me.

"Are you being serious" he asks.

"So very" I assure him.

"Well I can't wait till you see the new place. Maybe add some personal touch to it" he says.

"So we're moving in together" I say.

"We're doing it" he claims. He sits on the bed next to me and looks at my paper.

"Weren't you working on this song a few days ago" he asks.

"Yeah. But for some reason I keep coming back to this one" I explain.

"Why is that" he wonders.

"I'm not sure. I can tell it's special but it's a bit dark. Not like a lot of songs I write" I shrug.

"Can I head it" he asks.

"Sure" I shrug. I grab my guitar and play the song for him.

"For every doubt I ever had
For all the times I was ever sad
You were by my side, you made me glad
There's a special side a life that you add

We've had our ups
We've had our downs
Through it all
You've stuck around
You make me smile
Never let me frown
If I ever cry
You turn into a clown

And for the longest time I never knew
Why it was the hardest stuff god put us through
But then I remember that our love is true
I knew that we can get through this too.

Although right now things seem so dark
Like a star in the sky you provide a spark
Like a scar over my heart you've left your mark
When you arrived my life finally did start

We've had our ups
We've had our downs
Through it all
You've stuck around
You make me smile
Never let me frown
If I ever cry
You turn into a clown

I couldn't imagine going through this alone
Within your heart I found a forever home
And a love stronger than anyone has ever known
To you my admiration must be shown

I wrote this song to tell you this
Never would I thought we would start from a kiss
Although I don't know much
I know this much is true
I couldn't be me
If I don't have you."

He smiles big as I finish looking into his eyes. He softly cups my cheek as I leans into his touch. He places his lips on mine to tell me all the things words can't. Finally I was set free from that song and could move on, and move in with Kris.

"I love you so much" He whispers on my lips.

"I love you most."

"I love you most."