"Anak, kanina pa sa labas si Richard, bakit ayaw mong labasin? Nag-away ba kayo?", my mom asked while preparing for work, summer noon kaya naiiwan ako mag-isa sa bahay. Well, hindi mag-isa dahil lagi naman akong sinasamahan ni Chadchad- that's what I call him my mom told me that I can't pronounced his name when I was younger and ended calling him Chadchad up until now. Yesterday was different though dahil off ni Mama kaya hindi na niya ako sinamahan.
"Ayoko. Kaya ko naman na pong mag-isa", I said, my eyes pinned on our dining table.
"Ano bang nangyari? Napagalitan ka ba niya? Baka kasi makulit ka. I think he didn't eat breakfast yet"
"He forgot that I'm his girlfriend"
"What?", my mom stopped from what she's doing then looked me in my eye intently then turned soft after couple of seconds. Bumuntong-hininga siya.
"Ito pa rin ba yung napag-usapan niyo nung 7 years old ka?", she asked gently. I nodded. She came near me and combed my hair using her fingers.
"Anak, you were young back then. At ang pagiging mag-girlfriend, boyfriend ay hindi para sa mga bata. You see having a boyfriend means you are inlove with that person. And eventually kapag nasa tamang edad na kayo pareho and if you truly love each other, you'll get married. Magkaka-anak, magkakapamilya"
I became silent for a while. 11 years old and it seemed like everything that mom said complicates it all.
"Boyfriend ko siya Ma at girlfriend niya ako", is all I said. Bumuntong-hininga na naman si Mama tas pinagpatuloy na ang ginagawang pag-aayos ng mga kung anu-anong papeles.
"Hindi ka ba nagka-crush nung elementary ka?", she asked.
"Hindi"
Alam ko ibig sabihin nung crush, yun yung taong lagi mong aabangan ang kulay ng damit niya kung pareho ba kayo tas kung pareho kayo ipagkakalat mo 'yun sa mga kaibigan mong babae tas kikiligin kayong lahat na parang may bulate sa mga pwet niyo. I never experienced that. I don't have friends in school. Tahimik lang ako lagi, I don't know how to socialize. Hanggang ngayon. Mama-Chadchad lang ako lagi, minsan si Marco. Mabait din siya tas madalas siya sa may labas ng bakuran namin, ngingitian lang ako pero di kami nag-uusap.
"Dibale, itong pasukan highschool ka na. Sigurado ako diyan mo na ma-e-experience ang magka-crush at maligawan", my mom said with gleaming eyes pinagsiklop pa niya ang kanyang mga kamay.
Hindi ko maintindihan, may boyfriend na ako bakit ko pa kailangan ng manliligaw o crush? Hinalikan ako ni Mama sa pisngi, senyales 'yun na aalis na siya.
"Mag-ingat ka dito. Papasukin mo na si Richard", she said before leaving.
Five minutes after, I went out and found Chadchad talking to Marco. Medyo nagkakasagutan yata sila dahil masama ang tingin nila sa isa't isa. Lumapit ako, si Marco ang unang nakapansin sa akin, nginitian ko siya pero tinitigan niya lang ako at umalis na.
"Good Morning", Chadchad greeted me nang hindi ako nililingon, ibig sabihin alam niya na parating na ako kahit hindi naman niya ako nakita?
"Anong sinabi mo kay Marco? Bakit siya umalis? Inaway mo ba siya?", sunod sunod na tanong ko. Humarap siya sa akin, his hands on his pockets then he smiled.
"Wala naman, may tinanong lang siya"
I nodded.
"Galit ka pa sa akin?", he asked that's when I remember na hindi dapat ako nakikipag-usap sa kanya dahil galit nga ako. Sumimangot ako at tumalikod na para bumalik sa loob.
"Meng", he called.
Meng.. Bakit ba sa tuwing tinatawag na niya akong ganyan para akong hinihele, ang sarap pakinggan.
"I'm sorry", he said with his sweetest voice and so I turned to him. He was smiling then handed me a bouquet of roses.
"Ano 'yan?"
"Bulaklak para sa'yo"
"Sino yung babaeng kausap mo kahapon?"
Kumunot ang noo niya.
"Alin?"
"Iyong babaeng katabi mo tas nakaangkla pa sa braso mo", I said pouting my lips.
"Ayokong nakikipag-usap ka 'don"
"Bakit naman? She's a friend"
"Basta. Ayoko lang", I said crossing my arms over my chest.
"Bakit muna?", he asked. His smile growing.
"Basta nga. Ikaw nga ayaw mong ipakausap sa akin si Marco eh"
"Iba kasi 'yun"
"Paanong iba?"
Bumuntong-hininga siya tas lumapit sa akin.
"Kulit", he said and pinched my nose.
"Ano ba?!", galit-galitang sabi ko at pinalis 'yong kamay niya sa ilong ko.
He chuckled.
"Sorry na", he said giving me the bouquet of roses on his hand.
"Hindi na naman ba 'yan tinanggap 'nong gusto mong maging girlfriend kaya sa akin mo binibigay?", kung saan galing ang tanong na 'yon, ewan ko. His forehead knotted.
"No. Para sa'yo talaga yan"
I just looked at the roses then to him blankly while tapping my foot on the floor.
"Hindi ko na papalapitin sa akin si Amelia"
"Sinong Amelia?"
"Yung babaeng sinabi mong ayaw mo..."
I tried my very best to hide my smile but I failed.
"Ngingiti na 'yan...", he teased.
"Tse!"
"Bati na tayo...", he plastered his sweetest smile and that sight is automatically enlisted on 7 wonders of Maine next to that beautiful image I saw back when I was 7.
"Sige na nga...", sagot ko sabay hablot nung roses at pumasok na sa loob.
"Pasok ka na sa loob. Pasalamat ka hindi pa ako nakikipag-break sa'yo"
I heard him chuckle.
"Thank you, then", he said
I smiled upon hearing his words. To be honest I was waiting for him to say that no, I'm not his girlfriend, that boyfriend and girlfriend isn't for kids like me but he never did. And at my very young age I didn't know where I invested my fragile heart.
