"So paano naging kayo?", nasa canteen kami ni Joyce dahil lunch break namin. Sumubo muna ako ng pagkain bago ko kinwento sa kanya ang lahat. Joyce listened carefully. Sa totoo lang, it's funny how I trusted her that fast, pakiramdam ko nga matagal na kaming magkakilala and that I can say whatever I wanted without her judging me. Matapos kong maikwento sa kanya ang lahat, kumurap kurap siya na para bang hindi makapaniwala.
"Owkaaaaay", sabi niya at isinantabi 'yong plato niya.
"Naging kayo nung seven years old ka, dahil nag-volunteer ka na maging girlfriend niya? Ganun ba 'yon?"
I twitched my lips then nodded.
"Okay, so uhm..pinag-usapan niyo ba 'yon ngayon na medyo... Alam mo na may alam ka na sa mga bagay bagay..."
"Ha?"
Napanganga siya at kumunot ang noo niya.
"Okay, uh-official na kayo? As in boyfriend girlfriend talaga ganon?"
I just looked at her blankly, hindi ko kasi maintindihan. Umiling lang siya.
"Okay, ganito.. Meron ba kayong tawagan sa isa't isa?"
"Hmm..names lang"
"Huwat?!", she exclaimed exaggeratedly.
"Uh- kanina.. Tinawag niya akong...ano.. "
"Ano?"
"Ba... baby", I blushed, Joyce smiled widely.
"Okaaaay, uh- do you hold each other's hand?", I nodded.
"Hug?"
"Uh-oo"
"Kiss?"
"Ha.. ha?"
"Kiss! As in muah muah tsup tsup!", her voice a bit loud.
"Joyce, yung boses mo naman"
"Eh kasi naman Maine, seriously lahat ba kailangan kong i-explain sa'yo isa-isa? Ano nga? Nagkikiss kayo?"
"Hi... Hindi", I said then suddenly my thoughts flew on how his lips twitched or curved beautifully everytime he smiles. I blushed.
"Hala siya.. Iniimagine mo lips niya!"
"Joyce", saway ko sa kanya nung medyo napalakas na naman boses niya.
"Okay, last na. Make or break ito. Do you say I love you to each other?"
"Ha?"
"Hmm?"
Never did he. Never did I.
"Hindi", I answered.
"Huwat?! DOUBLE HUWAT?!", she exclaimed. Nagkibit balikat lang ako.
"Besh, ang lala", she said disappointed. "Do you love him?"
"I don't know?"
"Omaygad. Boyfriend mo pero hindi mo alam kung mahal mo? Ano ka bang gaga ka? Alam mo ba 'yang pinasok mo?"
Natatanga ako sa totoo lang. Sa sobrang daming tanong ni Joyce na hindi ko alam kung paano ko masasagot.
"Ah...", I said then scratched my forehead.
"Kelangan ko ba talagang sagutin lahat 'yan?"
"Oo"
Natahimik ako and looked at her eyes.
"Paano mo ba malalaman kung mahal mo ang isang tao?"
And for a moment, Joyce became silent. She didn't answer my question but she opened her bag and took out something- a book.
"Pocketbook ang tawag dito, you can learn a thing or two about love here", she said and offered it to me.
"Nabasa mo na ba 'yan?"
"Uh- oo"
"Edi sabihin mo na lang sa akin kung anon natutunan mo"
"Tamad ka ring magbasa no? Beshie, iba iba tayo ng pananaw sa mga bagay bagay. Maaaring 'yong mga natutunan ko dito ay taliwas sa maaari mong matutunan kapag ikaw mismo nagbasa ng librong 'yan"
Tinanggap ko 'yong libro at nilagay sa bag ko.
"Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako sa relasiyon niyo ni Fafa Richard", she said shaking her head. "Alam mo 'yon? Magjowa kayo pero hindi niyo mahal ang isa't isa. Very IC"
"IC?"
"It's complicated"
"I never said that we don't love each other. Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung paano mo ba masasabi na mahal mo ang isang tao. Kung ano ba ang basehan, kung ano ba ang dapat na maramdaman, kung meron bang patakaran"
"Ang lalim natin beshie ha?"
"My mom said that love is everything perfect and magical. People aren't, because people loved to make things complicated"
Joyce remained silent, looking at me intently.
"Nakakatanga talaga ang pag-ibig Maine. I may be an eleven year-old kid but I grew up learning that love is complicated, not perfect"
"God loves us and it's not complicated. He never asked anything in return. He did all of it, out of love. Love is perfect"
"That's you, that's another kind of love, that's different from the love I am talking about"
"Paano naging iba, pag-ibig din naman 'yon"
"Dahil, magkakaiba ang tao. You don't question someone's belief and stand on things. And God gave us the gift of free will. It will always be our choice"
Joyce and I turned to where the voice came from.
"Hi I'm Bea, grabe kayo mag-usap. Para kayong mga grown-up human beings being mature about life— love. Eh pare-pareho lang tayong freshmen dito!", she said then sat beside my chair. Joyce smiled, my head knotted but I smiled too, anyway.
"So anong chika?", she asked and we all laughed out loud.
Maybe that's enough for my first day of school, eh?
Nauna na akong lumabas ng school, Joyce is waiting for her kuya, senior high yung kuya niya kaya hindi kami sabay nang uwian. Si Bea naman sinundo ng mommy niya. As I went out of the gate I saw Chadchad waiting for me.
"Chaaaad!", I exclaimed and waved at him. He ran towards me.
"How's your first day of school?"
"IC", I said grinning.
"IC?"
"It's complicated"
And to make things more complicated. Someone called Chadchad by his name we both turned and saw Amelia smiling, walking towards Chadchad's direction and nonchalantly kissed him on his lips. My eyes pinned on them, gusto kong umalis, ayaw kong tumingin. Pero nanatili lang ako doon, nakatingin. And that sight will never ever be enlisted on 7 wonders of Maine. Because it is no wonder, not a beautiful sight to see. It's disgusting, it's jaw-clenching. I bit my lower lip as I am trying to control my heart beat that became extra fast, it hurts. Their lips parted and I heard her say:
"I missed you baby"
No. He's not you're baby! He is my boyfriend! I'm his baby!!!!!!#/*#+#-#-##*,k((":6#+jsjakkksjwuxvjJvvuai is ndgwkk!!!!!!
