"You believe her?!", his voice raised a tone and he took a step towards me. I stepped back.
"Chad", I tried calling him but my voice was drowned by his.
"YOU BELIEVE HER?!!!", my heart beats faster. His orbs got darker, his jaw clenched.
"Chad.. You don't have to shout", I calmly said.
Then my memory flew when he raised a tone to me for the very first time, it was when he saw Marco looking at me one morning.
He walked back and forth and strangled his fingers through his hair then looked at me. I was taken aback.
"Naniniwala ka sa kanya ha!!"
"Chad, kumalma ka", naiiyak na ako, sobrang talim nang tingin niya sa akin na para bang isa akong kaaway.
"Paano ako kakalma ha?! PAANO?!"
Napakislot ako sa kinatatayuan ko, parang hindi si Chadchad ang kaharap ko. Parang ibang tao. He walked near me and held both of my shoulders.
"Chad", my voice broke.
"WHAT NICOMAINE?!", his voice roared in his condo. Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong maiyak. Ito ba? Ito na ba 'yong sinasabi ni Janice?
Kahit kinakabahan ako tumingin ako sa mga mata niya at napalunok ako. He is...he is different. He gritted his teeth then gripped both of my shoulders. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin, hindi siya nagsasalita.
"I wanted to know the truth...", I managed to say.
"TRUTH?! THRUTH!!!", he shouted again then laughed hysterically.
My heart broke. Chadchad... Anong nangyari? I used to admire his laughing glory but not tonight. It gives me goosebumps. It.. scares me.
Mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa mga balikat ko, nanunuot sa balat ko 'yong kamay niya. Tulad nang pagnuot ng bawat nakakatakot niyang tingin sa pagkatao ko. Siya ba 'to? Siya ba 'yong taong minahal ko?
"Chad...", I whispered. Then I felt a tear escaped. Nakita ko kung paano siya nagulat at kasabay 'non ang pagkunot ng noo niya.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry babe", he whispered. Then loosened the grip on my shoulders. Then his tears started falling.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... ", patuloy niya at unti-unting lumayo sa akin.
"I'm sorry....", humakbang siya palapit sa akin at paatras ulit. He extended his hand as if he wants to touch me but he hesitated taking a step back.
Gusto ko siyang lapitan, gusto kong abutin 'yong kamay niya at yakapin siya at patahanin siya sa pag-iyak. Pero hindi ako makakilos sa kinatatayuan ko.
Nagsinungaling siya sa akin...
"Anong nangyari Chad? Sabihin mo sa akin", isang hakbang palapit sa kanya. Dalawang hakbang palayo sa akin. Tinalikuran niya ako at saka lumuhod at patuloy pa rin siya sa pag-iyak.
"Hindi ko sinasadya... Hndi ko sinasadya... Papatayin nila kami.. Papatayin nila ako.. Hindi pwede... Kailangan kong bumalik sa'yo.. Nangako ako na babalik ako sa'yo", he said in between sobs. It broke all of me. I bit my lower lip.
"I'm sorry Maine.. I'm a mess.. I'm sorry... I love you. I love you...", he said repeatedly.
I took a step towards him then he spoke.
"You don't deserve me Maine.. You don't.. I'm broke. I messed up..", then he turned to me.
And there I saw his face soaked with his own tears, his eyes pleading and begging.
