I hate my life! It like i dont even have parents! Its like im not loved! Everyone hates me! Exept for Ella and Joey..i think. I just hate this fucking life! It might look like i love it! And like everything is perfect for me! That i am strong and positive! But NO! No im not! Im human too and i have feelings! I cry too like every other fucking human in this world! I have my weakness's too! I hurt too! Im just like you! I wipe my tears away and i go to bed..telling myself how bad life is and just cry untill i finally fall asleep.
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[skip one month]
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Exactly 1 moth of beeing expelled! I can't explain how mouch fun im having! Every day i find something new to try! I have even started watching cooking videos and started teaching myself how to make food as i don't have anyone else to feed me. And believe it or not im actually pretty good at cooking! Every day i try something new and then i invite Joey or Ella, sometimes both, and they come over and try it. Joey also comes over right after school and just tells me about stuff that they are learning bc ok i hate school but im not wanting to become a comepleat idiot eather! Me and Joey are getting pretty close tho...idk, i just like him..he is a cool dude! Ella has started to hang out with other girls too but idrc tbh. Today im making beef for dinner. Joey is coming over later to eat with me. So i start making the beef and as soon as i finished i called Joey and told him to come over. He came 5 minutes later and we sat down and started talking while eating.
Vanessa:do you like it?
Joey:its amazing! You are better than my mom!
Vanessa:hahah!😂 no im not!
We finished eating and we went up to my room. We sat on my bed and we just talked. As he was talking about something (i didn't pay attention to what he was saying) but i looked at him deep in the eyes and realized how beautiful they were! I could not take my eyes off of them and it was weird! It was like my eyes were stuck! I could feel my heart beat faster! I looked down at his lips. God they looked so soft! I bit my lip and looked back up at his hazel eyes. I felt thousands of butterflies in my stomack!
I couldent hold myself back any longer so i leaned in and kissed him. He kissed back, and that made me smile between the kisses. I turned in to a make out setion. He layed me on the bed and went over me. He started kissing my neck slowly. I could feel him sucking on my neck, giving me a few hickeys. His hands were on my waist and mine were arround his neck, playing with his hair as he was kissing me. I felt his hands start to go lower, almost touching my butt. One of his hands went under my tshirt, but i stopped him. It just didn't feel right...
Joey:im sorry did i do something wrong?
Vanessa:nono, i-its just-it just doesn't feel right..
Joey:wdym?
Vanessa:uhh..idk..
I sat up and hid my face in my hands. He grabbed my hands and held them.
Joey:Vanessa, its ok..im not mad at you or anything. I should have asked you if it was ok-
Vanessa:no its nor your fault! I-idk..
I looked down.
Vanessa:im tired..
I woke up the next morning with Joey still hugging me tight. I smiled and reached out for my phone. I looked at the time and it was almost 9!
Vanessa:Joey! Wake up or you are going to be late for school!
Joey:i don't have school today.
Vanessa:its monday Joseph.
Joey:still! I don't want to go! I want to be here with you!
Vanessa: i don't want you to be here! Ew!
He looked up with a "wtf" look and i just laughed.
Vanessa:im just joking!
I hugged him back and he smiled.
Joey:im fucking starving!
Vanessa:same! Lets go eat!
Joey:noo! I want to lay here, hugging you forever!
Vanessa:ha-ha-ha! Get up Joseph!
Joey:ahh! Ok-ok!
I laughed a little as he got up. We both went downstairs and in to the kitchen.
Joey:oh and i want my shirt back!
Vanessa:too bad, its mine now!
He stared running after me. I ran to the couch in the livingroom but just as i was about to jump over it he caught me.
Vanessa:noooo!
He put me back down and smiled as he hugged me again.
Vanessa:why do you keep hugging me all the time!
Joey:bc your just so hugable!
We heard the doorbell and we both ran to the door, to open it. I saw Ella! She brought donuts with her and starbucks!
Ella:Joey, why are you here so early? And why are tou not at school?
Joey:i could ask you the same Ella!
We all laughed.
Ella:no but seriusly, did you spend the night here?
Vanessa:yes he did.
Ella:i knew it!! I knew you two had a thing! I just knew it! Ahhh!you two are so cuteee!! I ship up to 100!
Vanessa:Ella were not dating...
She stopped and stared at me.
Ella:wait what?
Joey:you heard it right Ella. We are not dating...
Ella:yet!
Joey laughed and smiled at me.
Ella:but c'mon! I know you both like eachother! So just date!
Joey:sorry girls but i gtg, i have a test today that i don't want to miss! See ya girls!
Vanessa&ella:bye!
He walked out.
Ella:see how he got so nervous that he just had to leave!?
Vanessa:he wasent nervous, he had a test
Ella:do you really think that Joey cares about a stupid test? Nah gurl! He just lied so that he could go bc he was too nervous!
Vanessa:whatever!😂
