excuses (REWRITE + NEW UPDATES)

you let me leave

AUGUST 14, 2018.
HYUK KWON
3:55 AM

kwon's blood-shot eyes bored into the ceiling, feeling his body melt into the silence of his room. He embraces the slight vibration that shook from his phone, knowing it was his boss calling for the seventh time in the last hour. Kwon hasn't been going to work, work wasn't even on his mind anymore, neither has family nor friends, they have became an unknown factor in his life. he started to forget the meaning of days. his days slowly became hours and those became unbearable minutes.

who could she be with? what is she doing? who could she be fucking? all those question ran through his head yet the last one haunted him. he thought of her moaning into someone else's chest, drowning in the pleasure that they gave her. he thought of her eyes shutting tightly while her throat thirsted for a new stranger. he thought of her biting at the stranger's skin, marking them just like she did to him, and he felt pain even to the imagine.

running his fingers through his hair, distressing his thoughts while placing a joint between his chapped lips.  he walked over to the toaster, knowing he had lost his lighter the other night due to partying with strangers that awaited at the haunted bar. kwon had no desire to get a new one. he had no desire to feel refreshed from his agony. he had no desire to see the looks of joys and happiness upon people's faces. he has no desire to see nor hear children playing. he felt he has no desire yet to her. kwon exhaled a dry and painful sigh as he plugged the toaster into the outlet that sat behind his kitchen table. he dusted his fingers along the uncleaned table, needing support to hold him up before turning his hand and making a look of disgust from what he saw.  god when was this last wiped?—

kwon placed his joint against the heat that raised from the toaster, letting it spike up. he inhaled deeply while shutting his eyes, needing to feel the smoke overtake his lungs. he wanted to know what being breathless felt like again. he didn't want to feel what the love stories had shown him, he wanted to feel it himself. he wanted to know that the pain could be washed. he has never felt such heartache and it was keeping him from himself. he needed to know that she could fade from his thoughts. but he knew when the fog clears and when he is no longer high, he will think of her again but most definitely he would feel her again.

ding ding

kwon groaned at the thought of reading the text, knowing it could be his boss yelling at his lack of response; he grow annoyed at the amount of stress it has brought him. maybe i should just quit; dragging himself to the living-room in which his phone laid in. the joint burning at his lips as he picked his phone up, seeking who had sent the message.

FUCK ITS HER 🏳️:

come over i miss you