I Feel It Too

Goodbyes

"I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to die here." I stand up.

"No! You made a mistake. A huge mistake, yes, but still a mistake. Please forgive yourself." I hug him. "Come home." He rests his head on mine. We stay that way for a few seconds before he's gone and I'm left in an empty room.

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Nothing I can say will change his mind. But I can't give up. I walk around the forrest of Denhai. Unlike Soltis, Denhai is hot. Really hot. I can feel sweat all over my body. And I thought Jakku was hell. I roll my eyes. I hear a branch snap somewhere behind me. I whip around, lightsaber in hand.

"Whoa, whoa! It's just me." Finn puts his hands up.

"Finn? what are you doing here?" I put my lightsaber away.

"I was looking around the planet. What are you doing here?"

"Just clearing my head."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I guess." We walk back to the base. We grab some water and go to the room I claimed.

"So what's on your mind?"

"How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? Or if they feel like they don't deserve to be happy." I really need some advice.

"Well," he thinks for a second. "All you can really do, is guide them. Remind them of all the good they have done it there life." I sigh. I'm trying. "Let them know that you care."

"Thanks Finn." I smile.

"That's all? Alrighty then." One of the things I like about Finn is that he doesn't ask too many questions. He kisses my forehead and he leaves.

For the next couple of days I help fix some of the X-wings. I actually enjoy it, because it makes me feel I am really helping. After a few hours of that I go take a bath. I'm drying my hair when suddenly the Force smacks me in the chest. Something's wrong. I close my eyes. Leia! I panic. I run out of the door. "Oh hey Rey, I was just coming to get yo-"

"Poe! Somethings wrong with Leia!" Peo immediately starts running with me.

"What is it?" Worry is written all over his face.

"I'm not sure." We enter the control room. Leia is speaking to a pilot about something. I frown.

"Leia! You're okay?" Peo runs his hands through his hair.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" she asks, confused.

"We thought-" He stops. Leia has collapsed.

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I run out of my chamber. "Sir! Where are you-"

"Don't follow me!" I run outside. I'm on a base on a planet called Yjert. I run until I'm 100% sure that no one can hear me or has followed me. I open my mouth a scream until my lungs hurt. Until my brain hurts. Until my voice goes out. But nothing compares to the pain in my chest. Something is wrong with my mother. She may die and will never know that I'm good. Or trying to be at least. Finally after my body is spent I drop t
on the dirt and cry. I stay there until the sun sets. I can feel my bond with Rey starting.

"-doing everything we can-" I can tell she's seen me. My head is in my hands. I don't want her to see me like this. Completely and utterly, broken. I hear her sit next to me. She doesn't say anything, but let's me see her surroundings. Dozens of people are sitting on the floor of the room she's in. Some of them are crying. Others just stare into the distance. "Do you want to see her?" she whispers just loud enough that only I can hear. Do I want to see her? I nod. I don't want her to die and then I regret not seeing her when I had the chance. She takes my gloved hand and puts it close to her so that it looks like her hand is just in her clothes. She walks me to a room.