"God.. Are you there..? I'm not questioning my faith, i just.. Something took over me today.. Something my own flesh would have been too weak to do.. Oh i hope he has an open heart.. I have this crazy feeling that i have to help him, bring him to the light.. And i guess.. thy will be done. I will do as i feel, with all power and love. I want to help him realize that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel he's in.. its just in my heart now.. I know he has no faith whatsoever in you, but i don't care. I pray that he is given a vision of what beauties will come his way with only love. I want to help him get out of darkness and into the path of light. He seems so sad all the time, and it bugs me so much to see him like that, because we're such good friends and i really care about him.. but.. I don't know if i can do it.. How can i do this when the devil intends to do different.. Maybe i'm insane, me and this person are friends and if i choose to do this, our friendship might deteriorate.. I have to do this though.. I have to.. I'll only regret it if i don't.. I have faith, that's all i need.. I am forever faithful and that's all that should really matter. I can do this. I can help him.. ~July 14, 2017"
I guess you could consider this an example of how much i'm willing to help someone that isn't myself.. Except, the thing is.. I have no memory of writing this.. Although, i might have an idea of who i wrote it for, how could i forget writing something so sentimental? And why did i feel in my heart that this had to been fulfilled?? I honestly don't remember and it's bothering me so much. I do have an idea who its for, but.. How? How could i forget a feeling so strong..? So powerful..? Maybe i should just stop trying to find the memory of it and hope i accomplished what i wanted to.. I just.. its crazy enough to comprehend that i felt like this, but its insane.. cause i hated writing.. I always tried to avoid it because of how much of me it drains out.. I suppose these feelings hit me pretty hard.. But whatever, I really hope what i felt was fulfilled and accomplished is all. I guess..
