You know..I'm just gonna get to the point here.
I feel like i failed.
I feel like i failed at being a good friend,
i feel like i failed at being a good daughter,
i feel like i failed myself,
i feel like i'm a complete failure at being a good girlfriend.
I'm so overwhelmed and i don't know how to take this all in.. I'm hurting at the fact that I wasn't good enough...
I might just be going insane. Maybe everything just shattered because of things we cant really resolve anymore.. The hurting is just numbing, and i don't want to leave..
The thing is love.. i might have been hurt by you, you say i can do better.. but in all honesty.. I don't want that..
You're the better i need, and i am willing to fight every last battle we have come our way, for you..
The person i desired to bring closer to the light.. The one i had a yearn in my heart to make happiness for.. I still have that desire..
and i can tell it has yet to be fulfilled..
I'm willing to mend what has been broken, so we can have the future we talked about,
so we can name our little boy, the strange name you told me that sounded like "Utah"..
So we can get those t-shirts you told me about...
So we can do all that we wanted to do..
I don't care if i get hurt, i honestly don't. I just.. I don't know how to fix this without your help..
January 6th, 2018
