Love

Trust not to trust

My next big crush in 8th grade was some kid named Sam Phillips. Oh boy did I like him and from what he was giving me I could’ve sworn he liked me a lot more then I liked him. He was the first person I tried to tell everything and I told him because I know it would not leave his mouth. I started to tell him about my pass life of going threw much more then the average homosapien about my pass life with Josh, he was shocked. I shared that with him because I was hoping he would understand not to do what Josh did.
One day a couple of friends and I were in this group chat and almost every day I would vent about how much I cared for  him to the people and the group chat because I thought some of them were trustworthy to not say anything about what Went on in the group chat. There was this group chat that the other kids were in. I hung out with a hand full of people because of the fake shit people put me threw in my pass years. I made this Flipagram of me and Sam and were all hugged up and stuff and I sent it to the group chat. That’s when messed up. “How come William” I’m going to tell you. It got sent to another group chat with people I barely messed with. People were texting and was like “Do you go with Sam” and my response was “No, why”, and there it was a sneak in our group chat telling the other group chat what was going on in our group chat. HOW DARE SHE. She was fake.
She had sent the pictures I sent them to the other group chat and everything. I was so embarrassed. So the next day was school and I was so angry my plan to go in fight her, but she apologized so hard I guess she was scared of the ass whooping she about to receive, but being the nice person I was I forgave her. Meanwhile I thought Sam was mad at me but he said he wasn’t which was hard to believe. This next story is kind crazy. Answer this question, “ Have you ever liked somebody and never told anyone and then your friend goes with him/her”.
That’s how my next story is. After Sam left well removed and sent to Alternative School is a better saying. Along came this boy name Fred Hardden. He was so sweet I never met anyone like him and all his kindness. He would literally do anything I asked, and I’m sure everybody in the 8th grade knew I liked him. Hell, I even told most people my love for him, but sooner or later somebody had to come to fuck It up.
One of my friends, to be honest she was a lot more then a sister. Her name was Brianna Foster. Brianna also liked him and on the day I was going to ask him out she got to him way before I did, and they begin having the perfect relationship. “Bullshit”, I thought it was, but I has no choice to be happy for them. That was me back then always making people happy and never doing anything that I wanted. I was always so stuck in people feelings and what they thought about me when they didn’t give a dozen of fucks about me to begin with.
To be honest when I told  I liked him he really didn’t care, Bri on the other hand cared a hell of a lot. I really did care how she seeme, knowing she didn’t cared how I felt. She knew for a known fact when Sam left how much I liked Fred, but what did she do, she went right before and asked him out. What a bitch huh? After a while I stopped liking him. Now this next story is kind of crazy as well.
So one day in the summer I was strolling on Instagram and I noticed I had a new follower, and the person that followed me I thought he was cute. So I slid in his dm, and we was texting for a while, we shared information such as names. He told me his name was Trey. Trey was so sweet to me but I never met him in person. I showed my best friend our messages and she said she knew him, and I was in shocked. She told me he went to the same church as she did, so I asked my mom could I go to church with my best friend, she gave me a little trouble but eventually gave me the yes that I needed.
So when I got that message from my mom, I was over exited and told Trey that I was coming to church. He then said “When you get there don’t talk to me” and I said “Why” and I locked my phone and unlock it to no text back. I get the church a little baffled and puzzled, but I didn’t let that stop me from getting the blessing from the man up stairs. So I went in there and did the exact opposite of what he told me not to do. Of course he didn’t respond. It got to the point where I seen him every week.
When that happen we eventually got closer. The week before school started off I went to Florida with my best friend church for three days, and during this time I been liking Brandon for quite a while. So Trey and I would talk not all the time I would be kind of shy to talk him. So when we got back from Florida I found our that Trey and I were going to the same school. When I found out that my face lit up knowing I would see him every day for a couple of months.
So of course the next week school rolled around, and there was this meting on the first day of school, and sat in front of me was this fine light skin  boy name Derrick. When I tell you he turned around and offered my friend and I a piece of gum, I was like “okay then sexy” even though I didn’t say it but I was damn show thinking it.
After a while I realized Derrick and I had the same second period together which was chorus. Derrick was an excellent singer, but I knew I couldn’t have him because I really cared about Trey. Trey was bisexual he came out eventually, and when he did this I was the only one who actually cared about him, and eventually we found out that Derrick was bisexual as well.
When Trey found out that Derrick was gay he tried to get with him knowing how much I liked him. Derrick was my friend, and went with Trey and I wasn’t that mad at Derrick I was much more mad at Trey because he knew and I felt like he didn’t give a fuck about my feelings. Eventually Derrick and Trey went out and they would kiss in  my face. I hated it, and I cried about it everyday and every chance I got. I eventually stopped crying. I tried to be strong because there was a lot more going on in my life. I couldnt let everyone see me down. Then everyone would think that i was some type of pussy. Oh boy but did i want to get there ass back, but always knew thats karma was the baddest bitch out there. Trey was so needed and always needed someone to care for him or look after him. Derrick didnt like that shit at all, and didnt mind telling Trey or anyone how he felt. Trey made Derrick so mad that Derrick broke up with her. Trey was so mad and upset and cried his eyes out, just like me. I really didnt care about Trey's feelings, but i did have some sort of feelings for him .I tried to get over him and called my self liking someone else I started having real feelings for.