Winter Snow

December 25th

December 25th

Merry Christmas Louis. 

I hope you're having an amazing Christmas. That would make one of us at least. 

I am sorry about last night. I didnt mean to ruin your birthday, i really didnt. Im so sorry. 

Niall came to check up on me last night and apparently found me almost past out in the kitchen floor surrounded by broken glass and blood. He took me to the hospital right away. 

I dont remember much of what happened last night. according to the doctor i had a Major panic attack and a possible suicide attempt, but i dont think thats what i meant to do.

I was diagnosed with sever depression I am being put on medicine for it. I am also supposed to see a therapist now twice a week. I was also given sleeping pills to help me sleep at night. 

I dont know how everyone let it get this far. Everyone knew i was bad, even i did. They didnt try to get me help untill now.  

Im supposed to be with someone, either at our house or theirs until the doctor or therapist says i could be by myself. Niall already said he would do it. Anyways hes the closet to our house and he has the piano. 

Louis, i hope where ever you are you are having an amazing Christmas, full of love and happiness. I dont want you to have to worry about me all the time, ill be okay. I mean, i guess. Im trying to be. 

I really love you Louis Tomlinson and i wish more than anything that i could spent this Christmas with you. 

Its beautifully snowing outside the ground is covered white and all the neighborhood is covered in wonderful Christmas lights. You always loved those. 

Niall just told me hes going to bed. I guess that means i should try also yeah? Lets see how these pills work. 

Good Night Mr Tomlinson. I love you with all my heart.

~Harry Tomlinson