December 31st.
Happy New years eve Louis.
Everyones trying to get me to go out with them. I dont really feel like it tonight. Remember how i told you Dr. Gina updosed my pills? Yeah, well she did. I havent tooken them though. I dont really want to.
When i took them before they made me, not sad. They made me happy. It made me feel good, untill i remembered that you were gone and i was happy? You are gone and i was happy. Why the hell would i be happy when you're not here?
Im not okay with that. Its not okay. I dont want to be happy without you here.
Im sitting here on Nialls couch. I dont think he knows i havent tooken my pills today. I dont think i should tell him should I? No. I guess i wont.
Im just thinking about last new years eve. Remember? We didnt really do much. We went out to watch fireworks. There was a little girl there who smiled at us holding hands, she couldnt have been older than 4.
I remember thinking i couldnt wait to have kids with you, who loved us for us even if we were gay and they wouldnt think of it any diffrent than being straight.
We went back to our place after the fireworks and watched the little ball drop on the TV, it was pretty fun even if it was just the two of us. Although those are my favorite memories with you. The ones of just us. I want to make more. But i know, thats not possible.
Oh yeah! Tomorrow is that thing that i talked about going to yesterday that Dr Gina told me about. Remember? At the hospital. I think its going to be fun.
I love you so much baby. Good night.
~Harry Styles
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FanfictionDriving to see my parents. Excited about the Christmas party, seeing the family. My mum and father. my sisters and brother. Aunts and Uncles. Everyone. The snow was harsh and the roads where slippery. All i saw were Two Headlights coming towards me...
