The Silence Between Us

I'll Be Here for You

Chapter 10:

"Noah!" Finn said, the sound of their hands meeting indicating the start of the bro hug.

Everyone was giving their support to him, giving hugs and meaningful words. I went up to him and hugged him, telling him that I was sorry for everything that was going on and that things were going to get better. But right when I turned away from him, my thoughts were somewhere else.

This was the first time I had come to the hospital in a long time. I had avoided it for as long as I possibly could, but now I had to face my fears for my friends.

The memories came back in jumbles, fragments of conversations, the sounds, the feelings. It was making my head spin. I tried shaking my head, attempting to clear my head of the memories but they wouldn't fade.

"She's flat lining!"

"Patient is suffering from blunt head trauma near the occipital lobe of the brain and open wounds on her arms and legs, the deepest on her abdomen..."

"Why is everything dark? What happened to me?" I asked the doctor when I came to.

"Clear!"

Sound erupted in the hallways, the rolling of the wheels churning under the gurney, the urgent communications between the people dressed in a combination of blue and white, the screams of pain from nearby patients. Everything was dark. Where was the light?

"He's..." the doctor trailed off, not wanting to tell me what I already knew, "He's dead."

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to spare myself from the memories by closing my eyes. It didn't matter anyways if I closed my eyes or not; the image I saw everyday with my eyes open was the exact same with my eyes closed.

I sighed as I leaned against the wall, trying to play off the memories like nothing was going on so the others wouldn't worry about me. It felt like the hospital walls were closing in on me, making me suffocate. I took in deeper, longer breaths to try and convince myself that I could still breathe, but that didn't have any effect. This was an entirely mental problem, I was just getting in my own head.

This was a bad idea. I thought that I could come to the hospital and support Noah without all of the consequences, but I was wrong. I got so caught up in the moment, thinking that since they accepted me into their friend group, I should try and do something for them. But I didn't think. I didn't know what effect coming back here would have on me.

"We need to get her into surgery now. We could lose her at any second."

"I don't understand." I muttered, still confused, "What's happening?"

"We've got nothing, there's no heartbeat."

"I've already told your mother, there has been serious damage done to the part of the brain in charge of sight."

"Stay strong, Louisa."

"Charge to 300!"

"You're blind. You'll probably never get to see again."

I took in another shaky breath. I needed to clear my head, I couldn't support Noah like this. There have been times when the memories got so bad that all of my other senses were blocked and it felt like I was reliving everything. Thankfully that wasn't the case this time, I could tell they were just memories, but that didn't make them any less scary.