his shield

030

we spend too much time wanting to say things and not enough time saying them. we only realise once it is too late.

•

i run over to jaehwan who now lies on the ground. he looks up at me and smiles softly.

how the hell is he smiling when he is dying?!

"you aren't going to die. i am your shield. i will save you" i say more to convince myself and he just raises his hand to caress my cheek.

"there are so many things which i never got a chance to tell you" he begins but i cut him off.

"you will be able to tell me. don't worry. i'll take you to the hospital" i go to lift him but he just calls my name, making me stop.

"they won't be able to heal me. wonshik, i was attacked by a magical white light. i don't think any mortal would believe that yet alone know how to deal with it."

"i can't lose you. i did all of this for you jaehwan. how could i succeed just to lose you in the end?" the tears stream down my cheeks and he continues to smile through the pain, tears forming in his eyes.

"you still have hongbin, and taeyong" he states and my heart breaks even more as i look behind me to where hongbin's lifeless body still lays.

jaehwan follows my gaze and his jaw drops.
"wonshik i am so sorry."

"please don't leave me" i beg him. "i've already lost the love of my life twice. i don't want to lose it again."

"you'll see me again. i'll become a shield, won't i?" the tone of his voice changes slightly as there is slight hope in his eyes.

i nite my lips together as i try to stop myself from sobbing before him.

"the white light, was a special mind of magic which only the head shield can use. it was created to kill shields who had betrayed the institution" i begin to explain and can only watch as the hope fades from his eyes.

"whoever it touches, is sent straight to a place where they say is worse then hell. jaehwan, you aren't going be a shield."

a look of panic and fear rises in his features but he is quick to hide it.

"that's okay. remember what you told me earlier? i won't be alone. i'll have the memories of sanghyuk and the memories of you. whatever i am about to walk into, i won't be alone."

"don't say that to make me feel better" i frown and lean down to kiss him one last time.

i pull away and he doesn't open his eyes.

"jaehwan?" i call his name and he slowly opens his eyes and blinks several times.

"i can't keep them open" he states and i shake his shoulders roughly.

"no. keep them open. don't die on me lee jaehwan. don't you dare die."

"i love you wonshik" he says under his breath and his eyes close. the hand which was caressing my cheek falls to the floor and his chest stops rising and falling.