Warms Against Cold

Chapter 1. Change

Warms Against Cold...

Chapter 1.   Change

"I never think that day would change my whole world. Bringing my life into the dark path that keep pulling me in. Until you reached the deepest depth and there's no turning back again.. "

You know, Girls talk about their insecurities. Like the feeling when you're feeling not good enough, ugly, fat, invisible, weak, silent, nerd or different than others. When you feel like no one cares about you. Like you're not in this world. No one sees you. You feel like no one knows that you're there. You feel like you're born to be flaw. Like you're the ugliest and worst person in your surrounding. You feel too fat, too thin, too short, too dark, too different and all. You feel useless and worthless, and you don't know what to do. Deep in your heart, you keep thinking why your life isn't fair.

The pressure around you keep pushing you. You're gonna feel depressed, frustated, stressed out and numb. You feel like you don't deserve to live. To enjoy your life. No one wants to be your friends. They ditch you. They choose popularity over you. No one wants to be the one who will stick up for you. Who will be there for you no matter what. Who will care and understand you. Who will hear you out. Who will help you to fight what people thinks of you. But no one wants. they call you names. such as ugly, nerd, loser, loner and others.

In the first time, you will feel like you don't care about what people think about you. You will say like "Back off dude. That's none of your bussiness! You're just jealous!" But you're alone. You can't keep protecting yourself alone. Time passed by, and there will be a situation when you started to trust their words. When you can't deny them and just break down. They win. You finally feel what they want you to feel. Then you finally give up and let them hurts you.

In the first time, I wasn't a loner at all. I was just an ordinary girl who enjoy her life. Happy, fun, laugh always fill my life. but when I'm in high school. Things started to change. My parents started to pressure me. I always try my best in exams. But it's always not enough for my parents. They don't appreciate my hardwork at all. They don't care about me. They changed. They just keep pushing and pressing me. They keep comparing me with others who will be so much brilliant and clever than me. It totally makes me sick of my life. And the situation in high school doesn't help at all. There are "popular students" which is consist of some fake barbies and stuck-up jocks who just can't keep their mouth shut. First, they started to call me fat. Then loner, loser, and worse and worse. you know it's frightening me out! I'm scared, afraid, depressed and frustate. I'm not comfortable with myself. And because of that, I started to hide from people. Now I'm a silent nerd loner student. In school, I just keep locking myself in a cubicle in toilets when the lunch bell rings. I just keep silent and don't talk or sociate to other students. I'm too afraid to know what they think about me. That they will know my flaws.

 I never think that day would change my life forever. It was like there's a gravitation force that keep pulling you into the dark path. And when you reach the depth, you couldn't find the way back. You were trapped. In your own life.

And from that day. I started to harm myself.....

Note : okay so this is my first time to write a story in wattpad. And Whoever read this, please follow me @septiantynurul and tweet me what you think! :)  and you may also leave some comment XD

You can see how Stacy looks like in the link that's attached to the chapter :D And I do not own the picture.

-Thank you! :D -xoxo.