By Any Other Name

Seven

All her blood went rushing through her body and distorted her hearing, as the adrenaline kicked in. His face paled, even under all the stage make-up it was visible. As the cast turned to the last section, the actress next to Ben gently tugged on his hand to turn him to the other side.

After the cast bows, individual actors came out and took their turn claiming their adulation. When Ben's turn came, the theater erupted in applause and he took it all in like a pro. When he finally turned to face Vivian, he held up a finger in a wait gesture. Nodding, she continued to clap until he left the stage and the house lights came up. The patrons next to her began to gather their belongings and shuffle out of the narrow rows of chairs. One gentleman gestured for her to go ahead of him.

"Thank you, but I believe I dropped my keys and need to fish them from under the chair," she lied. The man smiled and wished her luck. As the last one in her row and one of the last people in the theater, the ushers eyed her and the few other stragglers to start herding them out. The only thing she could think to do was, pretended to start looking for the imaginary keys she dropped.

"Ms. Sanders?" A voice asked her. Looking up, she found a woman in all black with a headset and clipboard standing over her.

"Yes?"

"Will you come with me, please."

Gathering her things, she nodded and following the woman. Her nerves began to jangle in earnest. This was a fine plan on paper, but now in the actual execution phase, she was having second thoughts. The hope was he would be glad to see her, at least a little. The fear, he would rip her to shreds on her temerity. Prepared either way, she really was hoping it was the former rather than the latter.

Looking around, she realized she hadn't paid any attention to where she was, and hoped someone would be kind enough to escort her back out. The woman opened a door for her, "He'll be in in a minute," she smiled, a professional smile. Once Vivian stepped in, the woman shut the door behind her. She was pretty sure she'd closed the door quietly, but it echoed in her head like a cannon. The room was a small dressing room with a makeup area, a couch, several chairs and a place to hang costumes or clothes. Taking it all in, she noted small personal touches here and there. A jacket tossed on a chair, shoes placed neatly under a clothes rack. On his mirror, cards, and a picture of his kids smiling. They both had Ben's crooked smile and her heart clenched.

The door opened and in walked Ben. He shut it quietly as they regarded each other. Cautiously he stepped farther into the room and they circled each other like they were in orbit. When they stopped moving, they did nothing more than look at each other. Vivian waited for him to speak first, but it became clear he wouldn't, so she'd have to break the ice. This she hadn't really planned on.

After swallowing, trying to moisten her dry mouth, she took a breath. "The show was wonderful." In order to keep her hands from shaking, she held her purse in a deathlike grip so hard, there would probably be fingerprints left behind.

"Thank you."

"Everyone was amazing. I couldn't have been more captivated."

He nodded lightly. They both stood staring at each other. Vivian's nerves started to get the better of her, and she felt that undeniable feeling that if she stood there much longer she'd cry, and she wasn't about to do that.

"This was a mistake Congratulations on the play. I'm sorry to have bothered you." Turning to leave, she gave him a half smile and carefully put one foot in front of the other, trying to make it out of the door without embarrassing herself. Do not trip. Do not run. Keep your head up. And for the love of everything, Do. Not. Cry. As she got to the door, Ben finally spoke.