Rockabye (Sequel to Attention, A Kavi Fanfic)

Chapter Nineteen: I'm Gonna Do What I've Got To Do

    Looking for an occupation is quite stressful, especially when you're a long-lost celebrity found and re-hated by the rest of the world. So it's definitely a risk going to job interviews when your reputation is demolished and you're known as the 'bad parent' and the 'trash of Pentatonix.' I mean I understand the Pentatonix part, but I don't think I'm that bad of a parent...right?

    To add to all that stress, it's clearly not helpful that Pentatonix's little tour break will have to end s**n. Meaning that either a) Elliot and I leave Miami and go on tour with them (and probably ruin PTX's rep too since I'm just that 'popular') or b) we stay here and basically wait forever for Kaplan to come back. And option b means that I need a job- pronto.

     Which makes me wish overall that I didn't ruin my past. But, to be fair, Elliot would have never been conceived, and I honestly don't want to ever live without him, or even think about living without him.

    Speaking of Elliot, surprisingly his lisp faded away. At times, I truly missed his cute little accent upon words like "dragon" (being "dwagon" back then) and "race-car" (being "wathe-caw"), but I'm proud of my son for learning to pronounce words correctly, proud that he carries the same sense of strive as his father. And hopefully me too, but I tend to be more stubborn rather than determined.

    Determination. Elliot and Avi were truly determined to learn how to build a castle- one of those LEGO castles from Toys R Us, but the special dragon version. Their green eyes both sparkled with stamina as they lounged on the carpeted ground, building away with countless blocks in their hands. I, on the other hand, simply sat on the couch, cross-legged, skimming through  numerous newspapers and magazine ads, with a phone resting on my lap to call to see if stores, restaurants, salons, anything were still hiring.

    "No," they'd all sneer at me, after clearly recognizing my sadly-familiar voice. "No, I'm afraid that spot is already taken by someone." Yeah, someone that's not me; that's who.

    They continued to build, their dreams rising up and up, while my struggles drowned me towards the depths of endless doom.

     Running my hands through my stray hair, I pulled my bun out, letting my blonde locks cascade down to my shoulders, as I groaned. Bitterly, I tore at the newspapers, ripping the tattered pages into shreds, clawing their way to the ground.

     "Kirstie, you alright?"

    Avi's soothing voice momentarily swept away the furies of frustration reigning within my mind, as I took deep breaths, clenching my fists.

     "Yeah," I mumbled, looking down at the mess I made on the ground, the mess I made in my own life which caused me to lose my ability to receive a simple job.

    Avi's eyes wavered over me and the crumpled papers, analyzing, "You didn't find one yet, did you?"

     "Nope. None. Nada. Zip. Zero. Nobody's giving out jobs. And if they are, they aren't giving any to me," I muttered truthfully, as he sat up, ruffling Elliot's brown curls.

    Walking over to me, he smiled as if to comfort me, plopping down right beside me.

    "Love," he began, as I nodded, looking into his deep green eyes, "you'll find one s**n. Plus, you've got loads of talent and you're a hard-working person."

    "Yeah, but I'm also a manipulative, lying, slutty jerk," I pointed out, pulling out one of the pages from a magazine article dedicated to me.

    He placed his hand onto my cheek, gazing into my eyes. "They don't know the real you."

    "And neither do you," I said, instantly regretting my words. I wasn't mad at him, but I couldn't help but be cross at the moment.

    "Well then, please show me," he laughed dryly, as I folded myself against his chest, resting my head against his shoulder.

    "Too afraid to," I stated quite sorrowfully.

    "I'm sure she won't bite," Avi chuckled, kissing my cheek.

    "But you won't love her, that's for sure."

    With that, I got up, getting tired of constant grief due to my own problems. Maybe if I weren't me, the lives of the ones I loved would be far easier.
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     "Kirstin Taylor Maldonado, what's up?"

    I looked up from the fortress of pillows around me, slipping out from under the covers.

     "The ceiling. Or the sky and then the universe, if we're getting practical here," I said miserably, yearning to just go to sleep and visit the land of dreams rather than hunt and search for a cursed career.

     "You know what I mean," his voice sounded rather serious, as he knelt over me, his glittering green eyes twinkling towards my direction.

     Sitting up, I pushed him gently off of me, crossing my arms.

     "Why are you here, Kaplan?"

     "What do you mean?" He asked genuinely, looking rather concerned for me.

    "Why. Are. You. Here?" I enunciated in annoyance, as he frowned.

     "You already know; love, I thought we already discussed this," Avi furrowed his eyebrows, placing his hand on my shoulder, resulting in me to bat it away, glaring at him.

    "So you're just here for Elliot?" I said surely, my vision hastily misting up.

    "That is, initially, whom I came to you for," Avi declared, as I nodded knowingly.

    "Then now that you have him, why don't you just leave? He is all you wanted, after all," I gestured to the door, hot tears freckling down my face.

     "Where on earth did this come from? What the hell are you talking about, Kirst?"

     "He has a better chance with you than me. You're going to leave anyways, because of Pentatonix, because of fame. You don't need a dreaded girlfriend. You don't need me to hold you back. Which is why you have Elliot. Your son. The one I took away from you. You love him, not me," I informed, letting him know, as his eyes widened instantly.

     "You really think I'm taking Elliot away from his mother and leaving my own lover behind?" Avi inquired, standing up somberly.

     "What lover?" I remained still on the bed, recalling all those days struggling as a single mom, recalling the days I dreamt of a better life for my son, recalling the times when he was simply sewn to my soul and when we both drowned. There was no lover back then, no lover at all.

     "You know what, Kirstin. You are the real you. You're broken yet you pretend to be strong so that you could fight yourself all over again. Because you're your own worst enemy. Not anyone else," Avi spat, his statement like a venomous snake slithering through my heart.

     Maybe I am my own worst enemy. But that fact didn't assist in any of the battles I still had to fight.

Hey guys! This is a rather short chapter and kind of a filler for what will happen in the next chapter. I'm currently on a plane so idk when I'm publishing this but yah XD hope you enjoyed this chapter and hopefully I'll do a double update if this saves. I doubt it will since it says it won't sync welp. But i might just write the next chapter on my notes and then copy and paste it onto WattPad. Anywho, hope you enjoyed and have a wonderful day/night! Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️!!!