Collison Course

Chapter 18

I woke up feeling better then I  had yesterday. My mind was clear. I just relished in the feeling of being held. Sighing i snuggling more into Terrence. Just as i got comfortable Amir made some noises over the baby moniter.

Terrence woke up fluttering his eyes. He kissed my forehead then got up. I rolled over watching his muscles flex as he walked away. I couldnt help it
My eyes drifting down to his butt.

"Mmm." I found myself purring watching him leave the room.I grumbled deciding I  wasn't quite ready to leave my warmth.  Well intill Terrence came in with a babbling Amir. I sprung upright happily. The little boy was a morning person.

"Ma ma." He cheered.

Terrence and I froze. Where in the hell did that come from? I cracked a grin. Terrence chuckled handing a fussy Amir to me. I guess he was moving to slow for him.

"Hi munchkin!"  I cooed making him giggle.

He went right to bouncing in my arms. He had alot of energy. Putting him down on the floor he stumbled about. This walking thing he's been doing was not his skill. Taraji found it adorable.

"Hey baby!" Terrence called poking his head out of the bathroom. His voice slightly muffled by the tooth brush in his mouth.

"Yea?" So responded making sure to keep an eye on Amir.

"Lets go to Chukie Cheese with the kids?" He asked from inside the bathroom. I thought about it. It would be nice to have the kids bond some more with him. I sent my mom telling her we would swing by for the kids.

"Yea babe sounds good." I spoke. Grabbing Amir's hand I helped him walk to the bathroom. Terrence smiled down at Amir picking him up and throwing him up a little in the air.

"Look at my big boy." He teased Amir nuzzling his head into him making Amir laugh.

"Let me get into the shower." I muttered smiling at them. Terrence nodded pecking my lips. Amir pouted so I kissed his cheek making him smile.

While showering my mind went to my sister. Why I don't know. I wish it hadn't. That deep vile of hurt always came up. No matter how much I worry about her, my hurt won't let me act.

I mean she hurt me more, then Jaxon ever did or can. I thought our relationship was perfect. She was always there for me, we always were together, she protected me from bullies. The whole 9 yards. It was sister goals.

Then, to find out she hates your guts for reasons you had no control over. It baffles me to this day how she acted like the perfect sister, that dream sister. She should go into acting she great at it.

That day she spilled all was burned in my head there wasn't any forgetting that. Her words sliced my heart, broke my soul, and made me crumble finishing off what had already been started by Jaxon.

"Why did I get a sister like you. So picture perfect. Daddy's favorite, Mommy's angel. Flawless skin, radiant hair, beautiful eyes. It makes no sense. You're  so pretty, but so stupid. You can't handle a man like Jaxon or any man. " Her words echoing in my head. That pain once again emerging.

"Once you get past that wall of beauty you're just a sad helpless excuse for a human. I pity you. I hate the ground you walk on. Just a waste of a beautiful face." At that point in time what hurt more was she was right. She used my own insecurities to hurt me. My deepest secrets to tear me down.

Im glad though I've grown from that. I used those words as fuel to better myself. To prove her wrong. I really finnaly embraced myself and loved myself.  It sucked something so tragic happened to make me move forward.