Witness (Nick & Demi) (Nemi)

XXII

Demi

Some things never change in life.. you might think the opposite but to me, that's the truth.. I've always had to deal with a lot of pain and disapointments from people I loved and from people I trusted.. Turns out that I will continue to suffer that pain until my life comes to an end..

When I was younger, I thought my parents had killed themselves as an act of cowardice.. now I know it was because of a mistake my father comited because his ways in life..

My dad was hired to kill a Jonas and that's what he did.. killed the Jonas' wife which instantly killed Paul Kevin's heart, making it seek revenge..

Not being brave enough to face the consequences, Patrick killed my own mother and himself, enduring for a brief moment the pain he caused Paul.

I don't blame Paul for wanting to kill my father.. I know what a broken heart can make you do.. I know how blind it can make you.. but what I don't forgive is coming after me..

That is because in reality.. me and Paul were the same.. he lost the love of his life while I lost the only two pillars I had..

But like I always did, I sucked it up..

Learned to not trust anyone.. just like him..

But you may ask.. Demi.. everything is alright now.. you have Nick!..

I have to laugh at that.. nothing is ever alright because just like life took my parents, just like life made Nicholas kill his own father.. shoot a loved one on the leg.. I know it will find a way to cause me pain once again..

Because that's practically my middle name by now..

I looked back at Nick as he ran his hand through his hair.. his black sunglasses reflecting the light from the desert sun..

Nick let me go.. he told me to never see him again.. he told me he could never look into my face again knowing what happened, knowing that I am part of the reason why he is now an orphan.. like myself..

But here he is.. turning his head toward me giving me a small smile while he reaches out for my knee to give it a squeeze..

I guess that.. the thing I'm trying to get across is that, there is no happiness without pain.. and there is no pain without happiness.. it's inevitable.. one must have the other..

I was happy and felt somewhat safe, until I lost my parents..

Paul was happy, until he lost his wife..

Nick was happy, until Paul tried to kill me..

Nick and I were happy, until we had to part our own ways..

Happiness is the source of pain.. if you don't love something, you'll never miss it.. you'll never feel grief..

Which leave's me to the next point I'm trying to make..

If I didn't miss Nick, I wouldn't be happy now..

I would be indifferent.. I wouldn't feel these butterflies inside my stomach