(RONNIE'S POINT OF VIEW)
''I was thinking''.
''Oh god you weren't''.
''Ha, ha hilarious'' Bradley said sitting down I smiled at him. ''So what were you thinking'' I asked flicking threw the movie stations.
''That we should go away on holidays''.
''We only went on one''.
''Babe our wedding was a year and 7 months ago'' he said.
''If that's what you want'' I shrugged putting ''Hop'' on, I love that movie, can't get enough.
''Where you want to go'' he asked. ''Not picky'' I shrugged.
''Sun or snow''.
''Whatever I don't mind''.
''Now or next month''.
''Up to yourself'' he groaned. ''Ronnie you are useless'' he said walking out of the room. ''Ok whatever suits you hun'' I smirked and he groaned loudly I chuckled getting up and followed him down to my office where he was on the laptop and I leaned over his shoulder.
''It has to be somewhere fun and safe for the children'' he nodded. ''An Email was popped up when I logged in'' he looked up at me I groaned.
''You didn't read the emails from my toy boy did you'' he playfully rolled his eyes. ''What this thing about E wanting to film our life'' he asked I sighed and sat in one of the chair in front of the desk.
''Why didn't you tell me about this, you got the email 3 weeks ago'' he leaned both elbows on the desk looking at me.
''Because I didn't think any more of it, I still don't know if I want it to happen so I wasn't going to tell you about it until I thought about it first, I know you are stress with work then your own clothing line I didn't want you to have to think about this, because it's our life going to be expose to the entire world'' I said shrugging crossing my legs looking down at my converse then up to him he nodded and looked back at the screen and I sat looking around then office and at him to find him looking back at me raising his eyebrows, I shook my head looking down at my shoes.
''We need out of the states so somewhere in Europe, maybe Madrid or something'' he asked I nodded he sighed.
''Ronnie what's wrong''
''Nothing why'' I asked tucking some hair behind my ears.
''You don't seem yourself you haven't the past few days so tell me what's wrong'' he said I shook my head and smiled
''Nothings wrong, don't be worrying'' I said he looked at me giving me the look that would make you crack and spill everything so I stood up.
''I'm going to put dinner on'' I said and walked out closing the door after me and I went into the kitchen. ''Mommy'' I turned to Harvey and smiled picking him up sitting him on the counter
''Your dad thinks we should go on holidays'' his face lit up.
''He is in the office go into him'' I kissed his cheek and put him down and he ran out of the room and I put on some dinner then sat down at the table staring at the walls when the smoke alarm went off but I didn't hear it until I was pushed slightly, I shook my head to see Bradley then heard the noise.
''Shit'' I got up turned the cooker off and I groaned the fish cakes where burnt, I through the tray into the sink and I got a tea towel swinging it at the alarm and it went off.
''Great dinner is ruined'' I groaned slamming the cupboard door and I picked the tray up throwing the burnt food into the bin and fucked the tray into the oven and sat back down.
''Order in, I'm not making anything else'' I said tying my hair back up. ''Go in and watch telly son'' Bradley said then closed the kitchen door over and sat in front of me, I didn't reach his eyes instead I picked at my nails
''Ronnie what the hell is going on, that's the third time this week the alarm went off''.
''Nothing I just told you dammit don't you believe me'' I shot at him slamming my hand down on the table and he was surprised at my sudden anger just like I was.
''You better tell me what the fuck is going on Ronnie, I've heard you and Donna whispering hiding things you better tell me now before I demand it off her I mean it''.
''It's nothing''.
''NOTHING'' He banged his fist on the table I jumped '' weeks you have been distance from me, from the kids, you are fucking hiding something I know you Ronnie I know when you have something under your sleeve you don't want to get out so fucking tell me'' I didn't say a thing''.
''Are you cheating on me, go on tell me you are, no point in keeping this secret of yours going on'' he spat I looked at him shocked.
''I can't believe you would even think that'' I shook my head and got up and walked to the door when he slammed the door before I got there.
''Tell me now'' he said I looked at him.
''I don't want to tell you so fuck off and leave me alone, why do you think you need to know all of my business Bradley'' I shouted.
''Because I am your husband, I fucking tell you every single thing but you don't tell me anything you tell your girls but not fucking me Ronnie and I am sick of being the outcast when it comes to you so just fucking tell me what you are hiding'' he shouted.
''I might have breast cancer, there you happy now you know the big fancy secret asshole'' I barged pass him into the living room to the kids and I sat down beside Harvey.
''What we watching'' he looked at me. ''SpongeBob'' I nodded then the living room door opened I didn't look at him.
''Ronnie''.
''Not now Bradley dammit'' I growled he groaned walking out slamming the door I sighed and ran my hand through Harvey's afro and I looked over at the twins they were eating their toes, I smiled.
God I hope this lump isn't cancer, I can't be without my babies.
''Why didn't you tell me'' Bradley asked from the bathroom as I closed the bedroom door.
''I didn't want to tell you'' I said flatly walking in the bedroom.
''Un fucking real you are you know that'' he shot behind me and I nodded looking at my clothes and the door closed behind me. I turned my head he was leaning against it, he looked really angry but he had tears in his eyes, I took one of his t-shirt and I put it on and put my clothes in the dirty laundry and I turned to him.
''I'm your husband Ronnie, you don't tell me nothing, this relationship won't work at this rate and you know it'' he said his voice cold and flat and I turned my head putting socks on and I wiped my eyes before tears fell and I walked over to the door. ''Move please''
''Not until you tell me why you didn't tell me this big fucking secret, you could have breast cancer and you didn't tell me'' he spat I sniffled and looked up at him.
''I didn't tell you because I wanted that little bit or normality before I got the result back, telling you would just make it all real, I didn't want you dotting over me waiting hand on foot on me, I wanted to do this, fight argue make up play with the kids until I found out if I was clear or had cancer again. I know you are angry and yes you have the right to be angry but I done this for me, you won't understand what it feels like, yes it would hurt your partner having cancer but no one actually thinks about the person and how they would feel, I wanted to live a normal life and not have you know because I wanted to have fun spend time with my kids in case I do have cancer and it kills me'' I shrugged and I opened the door and walked out and I went into the bathroom and I washed my face done my teeth and walked into the room to see him putting clothes on
''Where you going'' I asked him he turned to me. ''Just to clear my head'' he said I nodded and I got into the bed turning on my side and yawned and he walked out of the room, quite frankly I was too tired to care.
