Being→ SHADOW HUNTERS

C. 21

BILLIE DON'T SAY ANYTHING

Magnus spring me out of bed about an hour ago, we had to help Alec he said. And when we got there he ran all the way to his room, and I ran too. I didn't realize the extent of what was going on until we go there and I saw him with my own eyes. He was bedridden, unresponsive. 

Izzy was there, on his bedside.

We've been here for an hour and Magnus has been trying to work some spells to help Alec. But it wasn't working. I was sitting in the corner trying not to disturb anyone and because I felt guilty. If I would have just pushed Valentine into the portal and grabbed Jace, Alec wouldn't have hurt himself looking for his best friend.

I couldn't take it anymore. The guilt had turned into a huge beast that was tearing my head off. I got out of the chair silently and walked out the room. I had to get out of there. But I also had to stay out of sight.

Aldtree- whatever his name was, didn't want anyone but shadowhunters in the institute. I was just going along with everything that was thrown at me back then. I'm not a real shadowhunter, and if he found out then I'd probably be held for questioning.

And it'd backfire on everyone else.

So where else could I go? To my room. It was empty when I got here, and I hope no one invaded it while I was gone. 

I snuck around everyone, and got there without a scar. And I shut and locked the door behind me. Horrible.

I ran away again.

I sat against the door and rested my head against the frame. What was I doing around here anyways? If Valentine found me, he would no doubt use me for my blood. And that wouldn't benefit anyone I cared about.

If I stayed here, I'd only cause suspicion for myself and Jace. I couldn't take to the new boss, I'd slip u and say something that would only dig him in a deeper hole than he was in now. And I'd dig a hole for me too.

I can't go back to my place, it was torched. And let's be honest I was probably evicted. There was no in-between for me to slip into. No crack that I could slither in. Everyone was in some deep shit right now and I would only make it worse.

I closed my eyes and thought to myself.

I wonder what I was like before this. And I mean before I killed someone. Was I the same girl that I am now? Who was I?

I felt a gust of wind brush my face and opened my eyes. 

Isaac.

I scurried to my feet, and leaned against the door. 

"I'm sorry I left for so long. But when I caught wind that Valentine took you I was asking some of my friends to help me. They didn't, and I had to do it all by myself, which didn't even work but- sorry. That's all I wanted to say. Sorry." He apologized, and stood there like he could have prevented it all. 

I stared at him for a second, sighing. Then I grabbed onto him and hugged him. He was paralyzed for a second, but reciprocated the feeling after that. "It's okay. I'm fine."

"What happened, when you were taken? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" He pulled away and examined me. He checked my face and my arms before I stopped him.

"No, he didn't. I got away before he could get any ideas. But I did stab myself, and jump in front of an arrow. If you want to count that. And my back is like killing me." I pointed to my back to which he turned me around and lifted up my shirt, and pulled it over my head.

I didn't think he was going to pull it all the way off, but I let him. He was just trying to get a better look anyways. His fingers traced a circle from the bottom of my shoulder blade to the top on one side and then the other. "You're bruising."