Stephen and Sharpies ~ Watty Awards 2012

Chapter Twenty-Five

June 9th, 2010

Dear Alec,

    I am writing this the night before you get this box. I just want to tell you that everything is different now. No matter how much we want to keep everything the way it was, it never will be that way. I wish things could change if we want them to, but stay the same otherwise. Though life doesn’t work that way and life isn’t fair. I am in love with you and want you to feel the same. I might be disappointed, that’s how life goes. Sometimes we get lucky and everything turns out the way we want it to. Those are the moments we savor and dismiss the moment that matter none to us. I want everything I’ve never had and one day I may have it all, but if I don’t get it all then I’ll be fine. There isn’t many things in this world that you can’t live without: Food, water, and love. Besides these three things we can live contently. In the end no matter how much or how little someone has we all die. I know it sounds depressing, but it’s true.

    Alec I want you and love is a thing I need. I guess I don’t need you, but you fit the criteria for life. You’re someone who can love me and give me the world on a silver platter only if I asked. It takes so much more it seems to have a perfect life, but it really doesn’t. Alec I want to be your somebody and I want you to be mine, but I understand if you never are. I wish it to be, but wishes rarely come true. I stay up to 11:11 just so I can try my luck and wish. When I see shooting stars I wish quicker than a heartbeat. I don’t know any other things to wish on so I don’t wish as much as I want. Wishing is a waste of time, but what if the moment I stop is the moment before my next wish comes true? The doubt is worse than the time. I rather wish over and over to never get my wish than to never wish and have no hope.

    I decided for this box that I would include the three old letters, proof of my horrible resolutions. Then I also wanted to add in a letter that was new, something to finish off the box. It is the perfect ending to a long box. So many words and so many stories. I heard a song the other day and it really made sense to me. It was the exact feelings for you. It goes like this:

Take the blame off your back

It's a burden you don't own

Lay your head in my arms and I will be your home

You can't carry this alone

I just want to love you

I don't want to change you or judge you

I just want to love you but

Darling you have to learn to love you too

I don't count every line this life has carved in you

The beauty lies in these eyes

Cause I can see the truth

I see the strength in you

I just want to love you

I don't want to change you or judge you

I just want to love you

but darling you have to learn to love you too

I just want to love you

You've had your had