Stephen and Sharpies ~ Watty Awards 2012

Part Two: Chapter Nine

Stephen,

    Here’s a Sharpie. I wish you had your phone, your voice I’ve forgotten it. I can’t remember how high or low it was. Your hair, is brown, but how dark? Your eyes, how blue? How tall? Do you have a button nose or was it sharp, either way it was perfect. You wore jeans everyday and a t-shirt. Do you wear my sweatshirt? Are you even allowed too? I miss everything about you. Why can’t I remember everything about you, you’re perfect and I can't remember what made you so perfect. It wasn’t how you looked, it was, no, it is who you are. No matter what you look like it is your personality that made you so perfect.

    I loved the poem you wrote to me. You memorized it, I’m sure. Your words are all of how you love me even though you have no idea how I feel about you. I could just want to be friends or I could like you, even love you. You have no idea and still you tell me you love me. I ---- --- miss you. I wish you would know what was going through my mind. You know you’ve been there for two weeks. I miss you. Hopefully only two more weeks and then you can be back where you should be. Everyone misses you. The summer is nothing without someone to hang out with. I hope you are getting better.

    I tried over and over to write you a poem, one that meant something. I really couldn’t. I really am bad at writing poems, actually I am bad at writing, period. Maybe when you’re back I’ll show you, I don’t know though. I have great ideas for what we can do when you get out. I’ll pick you up and we’ll take Abigail and Taylor with us and we can run far away for the day. No one has to know that you’re out, we can surprise everyone when we go home and then you are in the passenger seat. I know the perfect places we can go.

    I miss you, I know I’ve said this many times already. I can't say it enough. I miss my best friend, the girl who knew everything about me, even though I never meant for you to know. I guess with you I felt safe enough that I wanted you to know.

    There’s a day you never wrote about in those twenty six letters.

    I had just walked into the hospital with you in my arms. I was freaking out. I took you into a room and laid you down. I looked at you while you were unconscious. I know how this is going to sound, but trust me I mean it in the best way I can. Seeing you silent I realized everything about you. Like how I would wake up early in the morning just for the hope that I would could see you running. To wake up to the sight of you, I care for you. It was more than just friendship. I care about you more than that. When I read that last letter. Those three words, eight letters they mean a lot to me. When I saw that you loved me I realized that we’ve spent the last three years just being idiots, you had fallen for me and I was lying to my self. I ---- --- like you. Pretty obvious I’m sure. When you get out I am going to do everything that I should have three years ago. I was a day too late. I’m sorry.

 Alec   

    I stuff the letter back into the envelope, slip it under my mattress and shiver. I kissed Kyle three days ago and now Alec tells me everything that I have ever wanted to hear. I have two more weeks in here and according to Dr. Cobb I’ll be out on time. I could play it off for the next two weeks and then go home and be with the guy I love. Or I could break it off now and lose my only friend here with two more weeks to bear.

    “Hey dinner is ready. You coming tonight?” I look up to see Kyle smiling in the doorway.

    I nod.

    “C’mon lets go then.” He smiles.

    I stand up and walk over to the door. Kyle slips his hand into mine. The nurse staff doesn’t even care, many of the patients are dating. I didn’t realize until Kyle and I started being whatever we are. Hand in hand we walk down the hall and past the common area into the cafeteria. We get something that looks sort of like country fried steak and something that is supposed to be a vegetable, green mush in fact. I get milk and Kyle gets water. We walk to our normal table and sit down. I pick at my food, total lost of appetite.

    Kyle stares at me, trying to figure out what’s wrong. “You okay?”

    “Yeah just I don’t know stomach is sort of upset.”

    “You haven’t really ate that much today. Maybe you should just drink your milk.”

    “That’s probably it.” I smile weakly and drink my milk. I stare out the window and stare into the sun.