Stephen and Sharpies ~ Watty Awards 2012

Part Two: Chapter Ten

    “Tell me why is it that you aren’t afraid of Kyle?” I have just walked into Dr. Cobb’s office and already he has started to bombard me with questions.
    “I don’t know, I guess because he told me he was afraid of girls. I think it is because I can relate to him. I don’t have to worry about freaking out around him because I know that he feels the way I do.”
    Dr. Cobb looks at me, he doesn’t scare me anymore. “How about the other guys in here? You’ve only screamed twice right?”
    “Four times. The first day I was here, in the middle of the night on my fourth day, a week after being here when Kyle stood too close to me, and yesterday when you tried to touch me as an experiment.”
    He nods. “You’ll be out of here next week.”
    “What?”
    “You’ve come to the realization that not every guy out there is trying to hurt you. Kyle kisses you and you don’t flinch. I have been coming closer and closer to you for the last minute and you haven’t noticed. You screamed yesterday because I am a frightening person. I am changing your sessions to once a day. You have free time after lunch until dinner and after dinner. You only have to go to group session once a day also.”
    I stare at Dr. Cobb. “Seriously, I am leaving next week?” Today is Friday. Next week means Monday, I think.
    “Monday.”
    “Wow…” I gasp, I can't believe I am going home after two months. I still had at least another month I thought, but I am going home in three days.
    “You still need to go to group sessions until you feel completely comfortable around guys like before.” I nod. “You can call someone after our session so that they know to pick you up at eleven o’clock on Monday.” He opens up a drawer and tosses me something. “Or text.”
    In my hand I hold my cell phone. “Thank you.”
    “Don’t get caught.”

    “I’m leaving.” Kyle and I have escaped outside. He’s holding my hand. Guilt is all I feel right now. I have to tell him how I feel, but now that I am leaving I don’t see any point in it.
    “When?” His face has dropped into a sad, depressing frown.
    “Monday.”
    “Well I had a feeling this would happen sooner or later. So what do we do?”
    I look him in the eyes and I feel confusion spread across my face. “What do you mean, isn’t there only one thing for us to do?”
    “We could write letters together?”
    “We have to break up. I like you, but-”
    Kyle interrupts me. “I love you.”
    “No don’t say that, we’ve been dating like a month. I like you and that’s it.” I pull my hand away from him, his grip has tightened around my hand in the last few seconds.
    “I know it’s crazy, but I love you.”
    “I barely like you Kyle in more than a friend way. I love Alec still and he likes me, he told me so. I leave Monday. I’m sorry.” I kiss his cheek and run inside. I might as well hold myself together until I reach my room.
    I half run, half walk my way to my room and jump. Amber is sitting on her bed crying in broad daylight. She has a blanket wrapped tight around her and she is rocking side to side, her back to me. I’ve never seen her cry during the day.
    “Amber what’s wrong?”
    Between the sobs she whispers to me. “Two years ago on this day I killed two of my best friends. I hate this day.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “I heard you’re leaving Monday.” She looks up at me and wipes away her tears.
    “Yeah- how’d you know?”
    Amber frowns. “You’re the only roommate I’ve actually liked. Now you’re leaving, everyone leaves. Don’t give your heart to anyone, they’re just going to disappear one day, better to be alone than hurt AND alone.”
    “Being loved is better,” I say trying to make her smile a little.
    “For those who can get out of here, maybe. Even when you love someone and even if you never break-up, they die.”
    “Amber…”
    “Get away and write to your love. You’re leaving Monday, you don’t have to pack since all of it is already packed. You get your stuff back Monday. Treasure it.” She lays her head down in her pillow and in a few minutes she’s asleep.
    I pull out my phone and face away from the door. I find his name and begin my text.

Hey
You got your phone back.
Yeah, I’m getting out Monday.
Really?
Alec, I love you. Will you pick me up Monday at 11?
Of course…
Alec
Yes?
I’m scared.
Of what?
Of going back…
I’m here for you
I know…
It’ll be alright
Will it?
Promise you
Okay…
See you Monday
I love you…