After school I gun it to Layne's, trying to think of something to say to her. This was a clear fuck up on my part and solely mine. I didn't want her to think other wise. But I also didn't think I had the guts to tell her how I felt. My minds plays back last night for me as even now I'm trying to process it. I try to curve my dissonance by processing the feelings aside from my conscious. In the moment, everything felt good. Really good. But my religion saturated conscious left me feeling like a piece of shit. Just like the first time we kissed, my brain was short circuiting, wanting it to make again, and simultaneously not wanting it to.
Still, even with my own internal push and pull I shouldn't be dragging Layne into this. She deserves better.
My thoughts half way organized, I pull up outside, texting her.
Me: Come outside
Before I can even hit send she's outside, apparently having heard my engine.
"What the hell, KJ!" Layne starts screaming before I'm even out the car, "You fucking left me!"
"Get in the car," I tell her, calmly, trying to counter act the fact she's screaming at me.
"KJ!"
"Shhh--" I grab her arm and drag her to my car, "Get in."
"Where are we going?" she asks defensively.
"Don't worry about it," I close her door behind her and get into the car.
"Kaylie Jane!" she continues shouting at me as I pull away from the curb, trying to drown her out, "You're not gonna say anything?" she pauses for my response, but only briefly, "Honestly what the fuck? Is it because of last night?"
I don't respond immediately, struggling to speak.
"I know it was..." she pauses, scrambling for words, "I get it if you're weirded out by me or what we did or---"
"This isn't about last night," I interrupt her before going silent again. I don't ever want her to think that's what today was about.
"Oh," She pauses again, clearly not having expected me to say that. It's like I'd just put out her fire. She continues, but less angry, "Okay, whatever but you're fucking with my education! How could you leave me?"
I'm quiet, focusing my attention on the road.
"KJ what the fuck?" She starts to get upset again, "I'm talking to you."
I continue to ignore her, waiting for her to calm down and stop swinging on me. By the time we reach our destination she's calmed down, but I can still tell she's angry.
She exhales, "Kaylie Jane?"
"What?" I actually respond, now that she's playing nice.
"You show up, you force me into your truck, and now you're ignoring me?" she rattles off, "And, oh yeah, you left me behind today!"
"Okay but we're here now," I pull into the parking lot of the school, a pure ghost town with all the classes dismissed long ago.
"You have to be shitting me," she rolls her eyes. I kill the engine and turn to her.
"I never forgot about you," I say honestly, "I thought about you literally all day. And I know this doesn't fix anything but I'm sorry. I'm still working on us-- on me. But I wanna be with you. I'm not leaving anymore."
"Why did you bring me here?" she closes her eyes and exhales.
"I promised I'd bring you to school everyday," I respond, "And I like to try to keep my promises."
YOU ARE READING
one sin.
Romance(NEW AND IMPROVED--- REVISED AND EDITED) Junior year, Kaylie Jane or "KJ," if anyone's asking, messed around and fell in love with a girl. Which is cool if you're into that type of thing, but she's not. Determined to have a hoe free senior year with...
