Canadian heart break (A Tom Hiddleston story)

Heart break

*Persephone*
Finally a doctor comes into the room, and we are all on our feet, looking at him like he holds all the secrets to the universe. He clear his throat and presents himself, then he says. "We were able to stabilise his heart rate for now. Thanks to the quick defibration he received we managed to restart his heart".

I throw myself around Laura's neck, kissing her cheeks. "Thank you, thank you so much. If it hadn't been for you....Thank you so much Laura".

"It's fine Kitty. I just did what I am trained to. But I am happy I could help". She says, padding my back softly.

I feel all kinds of emotions crash down on me, relief that he is alive, anger because I am sure he hasn't told me the whole truth, guilt that I let him carry on, sorrow that he has to go through all of this. It is to much and I fall to my knees, feeling Zac lift me up and sit down with me in his lap.

I cling to him, crying into his shoulder. While he caress me softly, telling me that it is okay and I should just get it out before we go see Tom.

*Tom*
I blink and slowly open my eyes. My head is hurts and my chest hurts even more, actually it feels like an elephant is sitting on it. "Kitten ? Kitty ?"

"Shh I am right here love". I hear her voice and feel her take my hand, then I see her, and I breathe a sigh of relief. "Relax Tom, don't get yourself worked up".

I try breathing, but everything hurts so much. "I am so sorry. I should have told you the truth from the beginning. I should have relaxed more. I should have listened".

"You should. But I think you have learned your lesson. And I am not going to yell at you right now. Maybe when you are back to being healthy". She says softly.

I try sitting up, but she gently put a hand on my shoulder, then she push a button, making my bed tip up. "Thank you and thank you for not yelling at me. I would deserve it you know".

The door opens and a doctor steps inside. "Well good to see you awake mr Hiddleston. I am doctor Hansson and we need to talk about what will happen now. You do know about the arrhythmia right ?"

"Yeah I know". I say, shaking the doctors hand. He has grey hair and a friendly smile. I feel he is trustworthy.

He is looking at some papers in his hands. "Unfortunately your condition seems to have developed rapidly. And this attack has created more scar tissue too. You will risk another attack if you strain your body in any way".

"So we need to try the restart ? But haven't we kind of already done that ?" I mean my heart stopping and being zapped back kind of have to be the same.

The doctor nods. "Unfortunately it didn't get your heart back to the right rhythm, the arrhythmia is still there, and still severe".

"So the pacemaker ? Is that what we are talking about here ?" I feel Kitty squeeze my hand. It has to be a shock for her. And I don't like the idea either, but well if that is what I need I just have to deal with it.

Doctor Hansson shakes his head slowly. "I am sorry, but unfortunately that will only be a short lived solution, but we might need to do it anyway".

"What are you saying doctor ? A pacemaker won't keep working ? But then what ?" I don't get it and I hear Kitty start crying.

He clears his throat. "I am sorry to tell you, but you have worn out your heart. There is nothing we can do, it will go into acute failure at some time. You will need a new heart".

"A new heart ? I.. I need a transplant ?" I pull Kitty into me the best I can, trying to comfort her, while I try wrap my mind around it. Way to go Tom, you fucking broke you own hear beyond repair because you couldn't step back. I am officially an idiot.

The doctor nods. "Yes, you will need a heart transplant and as soon as possible. Your heart will deteriorate fast from now".

I feel numb, unable to process what I am told. Kitty is sobbing into my chest, she lifts her hand slapping my shoulder, not hard but it does hurt nonetheless. "You ruined you heart, you beautiful heart, how could you".

"I am so sorry darling, I am so sorry". I keep telling her, while I stroke her back and kisses her hair. I hate having caused her all this pain.

After the doctor has left I have to do the hard thing. Calling my family and tell them I am in the hospital and that they need to come. I have told them the same as I told Kitty. Not wanting to scare or worry them either. I can't tell them the truth over the phone.

Kitty is holding my hand the whole time and when I have finished my phone calls I look at her. "You should go home and get some sleep kitten, I am going to be fine".

"Tom being fine is just about the last thing you are". She say, her finger reaching to trace my lip. "And I am not going to leave you. We are in this together and you are stuck with me".

"Well there is no one I rather be stuck with. But we better have them get you something to sleep on. Because I don't want you wearing down yourself". I tell her softly and kisses the tip of her finger.