The Life We Once Knew

Nowhere You Can Be That Isn't Where You're Meant To Be

Love doesn't see human boundaries. It doesn't see gender, race, sex, or corners of the world. Love is a limitless fire that will burn the hearts of anyone it touches. Love doesn't care for boundaries, which is why I had fallen head over heels in love with Jane. 

Women should not fall in love with women, but I had already broken that boundary twice. Women shouldn't fall in love with women, and they shouldn't fall in love with their brother's ex-girlfriend. Paul was the biggest thing holding me back. It felt like the premise of a young adult novel and not a very good one. I fell in love with Jane, and now, I have to face it even if Paul will hate me forever.

I think I've always loved her. The very first time I saw her, I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen in my life. I still think that. Her laugh always made a bad day good, and her smile was like the sun had finally come to Earth. The love of a friend doesn't make you feel like your walking on a cloud everytime you see her, or not seeing her feels like the rain clouds rolled in. There is a difference between the love of a friend and the love of a lover, and it took me years to finally figure that out. 

Vera held my hand as I knocked on the door of The Asher residence. There was a chance Jane was there. Even if she wasn't, there was someone who would know where I could find her. As it happens, that very someone opened the door.

"Amelia?" Peter Asher asked.

I had met him several times before. His music duo, Peter and Gordon, had opened for Revolution and The Beatles more than once. He and I had never quite gotten along, but we tolerated each other. He thought I was too cocky, I thought he wasn't cocky enough, and we ended up trying to outwit each other constantly/

"Is Jane here?" I asked, "I need to talk to her."

"Did Paul send you here? I swear, if he did, I'll kick that bugger right in the-"

"He didn't. He doesn't know I'm here," I interrupted.

Peter paused, "Then, why are you here?"

"I need to talk to Jane as Amelia, not Paul. Can you tell me where she is?"

Peter hesitated. He watched my eyes as if searching for any sign of a lie. Finally, he sighed, "She's upstairs. Come on."

He stepped aside and let me in. Vera and I followed him up the stairs. At the top, we were met with a winding staircase that led to the attic. Paul had lived there with Jane during the early days of The Beatles career. I remembered visiting him there on several occasions and drinking Mrs. Asher's famous tea. Just stepping into the house brought the familiar taste of sweet lemon tea to my lips. 

"She's up there," he jerked his thumb at the stairs, "If you're lyin'-"

"I'm not lyin', Peter, don't get your knickers in a twist," I retorted, "I just wanna talk to Jane."

"Go on, then."

"Ta."

With that, Vera and I made our way up the stairs. With every step I took, my feet began to feel heavier. I felt like my skin was turning to lead as I climbed those metal stairs. At any moment, I would chicken out and run home, forever forgetting about Jane Asher.

Vera tugged me along. If it weren't for her, I would have turned back. I would have run away and never looked back, but Vera pulled me up the stairs. She pulled me into the room and we stalled.

Jane was sitting on the couch with a book open in her lap. Her hair was unbrushed, a look which was usually considered untidy but Jane make it look royal. Her bare feet were tucked underneath her and she was tugging at her lip. Her eyes were the only part of her that moved to read, the rest of her head kept still. Whenever she heard us come up the stairs, she glanced up, jerking her head up whenever she realized who had walked in.