The Life We Once Knew

Loneliness Doesn't Last

As I have learned, loneliness is a concept. For each person, it changes, varying upon them and their situation. For me, loneliness is isolation. Coming home to an empty house in an empty life in a half-full world is loneliness. For others, loneliness is being in a room full of people who love you but missing that one person.

"Do you ever brush your hair?" Jane asked.

I shrugged, "I always put it in the same hairstyle."

"It's all tangled."

"Comes with the braid."

Jane chuckled. She wove her fingers into my hair. Her touch was something I missed whenever she was gone and cherished whenever she was with me. With my head in her lap and her fingers in my hair, I swear, I was in heaven.

Vera was fast asleep, leaving Jane and I to ourselves. Originally, we had started to watch the telly, but it slowly faded into background noise. We were too wrapped up in each other to acknowledge the television in the corner.

When the person you love is gone more often than they're not, you begin to cherish every second spent with them as if it were pure gold. Jane was gone so much, every moment I was with her felt like a million years comprised into one minute. I never knew when she would be gone next, so, every second we spent together, I pulled out into years. 

Jane had just gotten home from her play tour the day before, and she had yet to step foot in her flat. She spent more time in mine than she ever did in her own. I loved every second she was with me and I would love to make them more.

"Janie, love, I was thinking," I glanced up at her and smiled.

She looked down at me, her fingers still tangled in my hair, "That's never a good thing."

"You wound me. Truly."

"Oh, come off it, I'm only joking," she kissed my forehead, "I love you and your thoughts."

"Alright, I won't call the divorce lawyer just yet."

Jane chuckled, "Good, I've grown a bit attached to you."

"And I love every second of it," I grinned, "Back to the matter at hand, I was thinking."

"About?"

"Will you move in with me?"

She was silent. I spun around to kneel in front of her, my enthusiasm growing. I grabbed her hands and scooted closer, "You spend so much time here already, why not make it official? Jane, I love you more than you can believe and I know we're meant to last."

She stared at me. For a moment, I was actually afraid she would say no. I began to wonder if this relationship was really as two-sided as I thought it was. Just as I was preparing to blow it all off as a joke, Jane grinned. Her fingers wrapped around mine as she said, "I think that's a brilliant idea."

"You'll do it?"

"I'll do it!"

She lunged forward and fell into my lap. I pulled her to my chest and laughed, kissing the top of her head with a big smile. She squeezed my stomach.

"Asher-McCartney residence," I grinned, "I liked it."

Jane glanced up, "Why not McCartney-Asher?"

"It's alphabetical, my dear."

Jane giggled. She snuggled deeper to my chest, and I held her as if the world depended on it. Night had fallen but the brightness of that moment could bring day back again. The crippling loneliness I was so prone too was soon to be cured for good.