Anti-Academy

Reality Check

Dinner is disastrous. Dad came in late so just in time to eat. I had thought he would distract everyone with questions. Instead Mother caught him up quickly and now its a lot of struggling to find a topic to talk about.

Marie and Max keep asking me questions which seriously disturbs Mother. She interrupts each question with some haughty remark; more than a few times I see Max clinch his jaw. Marie is keeping a close eye on me, its making me a little nervous so I try not to look up...at anyone. 

My stomach is in knots. I think I like it better when I'm exempt from family meals. Ok so maybe I do get hungry and wish they'd at least save me some food but anything is better than eating with them. I'll take hunger pains over their attention any day. It's safer for me. Especially since Mother is fielding my questions with distractions or just ignoring the question by introducing an entirely new topic.

It feels as though Max and Marie are purposely trying to get a rise out of Mother. I know I have to be getting paler as the dinner goes on. All I can think of is the retribution I'm going to be in for when they aren't here. But it's not like I can stop them from asking questions to catch up. You can really only cover so much through a text or call.

Max and Marie have always had a mind of their own. They've never cared much for others opinions and rarely ask for help. If the two of them couldn't figure something out they ask me. There has been nothing we three can't figure out.

Although I'm sure it's totally illegal they have asked for my help with strategies on a few of their past cases. Not giving me details but showing me a plan and asking if I saw anything significant. Things that could change the outcome. There were several times that I thought of a scenario that they hadn't considered.

I have no clue if any of my help was actually needed. Mostly I feel like they include me because they just wanted to talk to me. But it was definitely fun. The first few times they asked me I thought they were outlaws. Honestly, sometimes my fantasies can get the best of me.

"Sang, you need to eat more. You've lost weight and you couldn't afford to lose any before. Now you look like your wasting away." Max's stern voice cuts through my fantasy of running away with my outlaw siblings.

As timidly as possible I clear my throat and reply; "No, thanks. I'm quite full." I actually feel quite sick over what little I have managed to get down. I drop my hands to my lap quickly to keep Mother from seeing the shaking. 

Max, however, does not look happy with my answer. "No. How could you possibly be full after eating one chicken leg with a small scoop of potatoes and green beans?" He puts down his fork and reaches out grabbing another piece of chicken and put it on my plate. (The biggest piece he could find! He actually dug around for it!!)

I really just wish that they'd kill me themselves. I'm sure it would be much more painless and quick than what Mother is going to do to me.

I'm staring at him in shock as he continues to pile food on my plate. When he looks up and meets my gaze I know my expression must tell him exactly how horrified I am by what he just did. But for some reason that only hardens his stare more. Why is he mad right now?

"Eat." Max orders me. "You'll not leave until I'm satisfied you're not going to die of starvation in front of me. Seriously, Sang if this is some sort of image perception or something it's got to stop. There very little of you left to hug." His gaze softens a little. "Eating regularly and staying healthy is more important than if you or anyone else think you are pretty and thin."

I didn't think it could get worse. I'm even more horrified that he actually thinks I am doing this to myself because I think I'm not pretty enough. He could not have been more wrong. Nor could he have hurt me any deeper. What's worse is Mother states her agreement and tries to cover her lack of interest in my eating habits.

"Oh Max, darling I'm so glad you noticed and are stepping in. Sang has been so difficult lately. She never does anything we ask. Matter-of-fact she goes out of her way to defy me. It just breaks my heart that she won't even allow me to insist she take care of herself and stay healthy."

I stare at Mother.Like I have to have gone completely insane, right? I watch as she goes to wipe NONEXISTENT tears from her eyes!!! Surely they noticed that, right? I quickly scan their faces but are they looking at Mother?! NO!! They're all looking at me with disappointment.

I do and say nothing for the rest of the meal. I keep my head down and eat the food Max places on my plate. I eat because despite the storm in my heart and the rocks bouncing in my stomach I don't know when my next real meal will be.

When I've managed to clear most of my plate. Marie and Mother begin cleaning and Dad sends me to my room for giving Mother such a hard time. Still not saying or doing anything I leave the table without meeting any of their eyes. I look down the entire time as I make my way to the entry way.

What I thought would be an exciting visit with my siblings the I love, just exploded into a bazillion pieces along with my heart.

I slowly climb the stairs with tears flowing down my cheeks. My family has managed to reduce me to tears for the third time today and each time I've been helpless to stop them.

How could they possible believe that cold, cruel, heartless woman over me?!?! They speak to me everyday!!! Sure, I don't tell them everything or well anything that actually goes on with her. But...how...what...why could just this once someone actually care to look beyond the lies and fake smiles?