Anti-Academy

Guilt

Marie POV

I have to say never have I ever hated someone more than I do right now.

I have seen children beaten and starved. I have seen children die from neglectful parents or guardians. I have seen domestic violence situations where the victims don't see the choices they have, the life they could have. I used to pity them. Look down my nose at them for not doing something to better their lives. For not reaching out for help. For not seeing the truth for themselves. For not being stronger.

Now I am sickened to the bone. Everything...a sob threatens to leave my body in a rush but I choke it back. I get it now. I understand it. No one sees it happening until it's too late. In a moment your whole life can implode. Nothing will ever be ok again. Now others are looking at us that way. No, it doesn't make it right. In fact it makes it that much more horrifying. That much more devastating.

It's hard to look past the pretty picture or dream a person has for their life. It's hard to see the truth when it's happening to you.

I've known something has been wrong for a while now. I noticed how distant Sang had become when we asked about home. I noticed the quick evasions and the short clipped answers. I ignored it until one day I didn't notice anymore. I chalked it up to missing us or the strictness of our parents. I mean her whole life changed when we left. She lost her support system but also  Mom took her from public schools. I never doubted that was for the best. Sang was too advanced for the school we were in because she learned what we were learning. I knew that she could go further if she was able to do her own thing with her education. 

I was so wrong.

Seeing Sang tied up and tortured will haunt me. It will haunt me until the day I die. But then to hear her quiet voice... to know that she protected me. That she took that horrible punishment for my mistake. It's more than I think I can bear. I couldn't hate anyone more than I abhor my Mother. It's like a festering wound that's itching. I can forget it for a few seconds then I only have to look at my sweet sister. Broken... laying still...may not wake up...

Mother's life is over...When I see her...When I get my hands on her...No amount of torture will ever be payment enough for the damage she inflicted on Sang's soul and body. But she's gonna pray for death before I'm finished.

Now I'm sitting in this hospital room staring at the one person in the world that couldn't have deserved this less. My heart shouldn't even keep beating. This is beyond forgivable. How could I possibly hope to be a good mother when I have HER genes. When I couldn't even protect my sister from the Monster living in our house.

A hand lands on my shoulder startling me. "Marie, you need a break let's go grab something to eat."

I look up at AJ briefly before shaking my head and returning my gaze to Sang. I don't want to leave, not yet. I haven't had enough time. What if something happens while I'm gone?

AJ looks at me sadly before sighing. As he kneels beside my chair he looks at Sang. He knows everything now. I told him about the pregnancy before the Academy meeting. I couldn't have been more wrong about his reaction. He was ecstatic to say the least. Before we had even gotten out of the car he had everything planned out. He was fearful of becoming a horrible father but he couldn't be happier.

Later at the hospital I told him what Sang said as I caught her. It didn't dim his happiness or change his mind about our future. But he looked at Sang differently. As he worked on her that night I saw determination to save my sister because he loved me. Now I see administration in his eyes for the one who protected us. The love of his life and his unborn child. His words not mine.