I Don't Like the Drugs (But the Drugs Like Me)

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M: Hey rockstar!
J: Hi psychologist!
M: Whatcha up to?
J: Waiting at the airport... We're flying to Europe. You?
M: Ooh fancy! I'm on my lunch break! When does your tour end?
J: In like two months... Why?
M: Just thought that maybe we could hang out some time when you're not busy with killing it on stage.
J: Oh hush you! Yeah sure! I could fly out to NYC when I get back home.
M:Yay! That makes a happy panda! :3
J: You're a panda?!?!?! I love thoseeeee!!!! So mr. Panda how have you been?
M: Well miss Penguin, I've been pretty well. I've been thinking about you a lot, actually. How have you been?
J: Why penguin? I've been okay... Maybe thinking about you too, maybe not.
M: Because penguins are cute and black and white, so are you. Maybe???
J: I am not cute! I'm scary and dangerous like a polar bear! Yes, maybe!
M: Polar bears are cute too, so either way, I win! Well maybe I should change that maybe to a definitely, hmm...
J: Well you can try, but I won't promise anything! Okay gotta go, we're boarding the plane. Talk soon! Maybe ;)
M: Damn you Wuornos! Have a safe flight! Bye!
J: Thanks! Byeee
"Who ya texting?" Twiggy asked, looking over her shoulder. Marilyn looked up, turning his head in their direction. "Nobody!" She said quickly. "Hmm, I don't know any M or Mr. Panda... Do you guys? Wait Marilyn's name starts with M! Are you texting Marilyn?? Can I start calling you Mr. Panda?" "Twiggy! Why would I be texting Marilyn when he's sitting right there!"
"Well I don't know! Both of you are weird! Mr. Panda, are you sure she isn't texting you?" Both of them yelled simultaneously: "Twiggy, shut up!" He just shrugged. They waited in line, which moved very slowly.
It turned out James was sitting next to Daisy, who was between her and Marilyn.
"So who WERE you texting Molly?" Daisy asked her when they sat down. Marilyn looked up; eyebrows raised: "Who's Molly?"
"Take a wild guess Marilyn!" Daisy chuckled. He rolled his eyes. "You didn't answer my question..." "Well if you must really know, Scott, I was texting this guy I met in New York." He gave her a knowing look and winked. "It's not like that." "Yet!" "If I needed a girl-friend Berkowitz, I'd go back to high school. Can you please drop the subject."
He huffed in response, pouting slightly. "Where are we going anyway?" he asked. This time Marilyn answered. "Berlin first, then Munich, and after that London. I won't list the other places right now, because we both know you'll forget by the time we get to Munich." "Oh, I've always wanted to go to Berlin! That's where the story We children from Bahnhof Zoo took place!" James exclaimed. "And what is the story about Wuornos?" Marilyn asked, even though he knew the answer. Her face reddened. She didn't know why she was embarrassed, they all did drugs, just like her. "Heroin." She muttered. "And why does the story appeal to you so much?" "Fuck off Manson, we both know you know the answer to that so just shut the fuck up." Her leg started bouncing. She was shaking slightly. The effects of her high slowly going away. This was going to be a hellish flight when she went into withdrawal mode. "I don't know the answer!" Twiggy turned back to look at them from his seat in front of Daisy. "Turn around Ramirez." Daisy sighed. He was not going to enjoy sitting between these two.
.
"COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CHEWING YOUR NAILS BERKOWITZ?!" Every sound annoyed her so much she wanted to rip her hair out. They still had two hours left on the plane. "Molly. I am not joking when I say that I will choke you if I see you get high one more time. This has escalated too much. You have a problem." "Fuck you, Scott! All of you do it, so just back the fuck off!" She screamed. "There is a difference between getting high occasionally and doing it three times a day Molly. You are addicted and if you don't stop, you'll die." She screamed in frustration. "Why the fuck is it so hot in here?!!!" "Ma'am please calm down, or we will be forced to have security take you in the back for the rest of the flight." Fury flashed through James's eyes and she was just about to say something when Daisy put his hand over her mouth. Then Marilyn flashed the sexiest smile in the flight attendant's direction. "We're sorry miss, she will calm down. She's just afraid of heights is all." The girl nodded and walked away, strutting her stuff obviously. Daisy yelped in pain quickly retracting his arm, seeing bite marks on his hand. Marilyn sent a dangerous glare in her direction. "I warned you James. Don't make me throw you out of the band. It would be a shame to lose such a good drummer." She huffed in response, putting in her earphones and blasting the music on max volume. She closed her eyes and drummed her hands on her legs to the beat with a bit too much force.
.
When they landed and retrieved their luggage she ran out of the building through the exit. She took out her cigarettes and lit one. It wasn't exactly heroin, but it helped her calm down plenty. Slowly the guys came out after her. "We're going to the hotel now. You will be staying with me again. Let's go." A cab drove them to the center of the city. When they came to their room Marilyn went to the toilet. When he came out, he bumped into James. She looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please help me get some! You must know a place that sells drugs here, right? Please Marilyn, I need a hit." "Daisy will choke you, he said so himself." "He doesn't have to know. I'll do anything, please!" He pitied her. He knew how bad it was to be addicted, but he didn't want to lose another band member. He thought about it for a while and then said: "Fine. I will go with you. But you will hand it all over to me. I will keep it for you, and you only get two hits a day. Are we clear?" She nodded eagerly and they left together.
.
She bought a lot. And gave it all to him. When they returned to their room, he gave her a small amount of it. She heated it on her spoon and injected it, she felt a million times better. She gave him a thankful smile and lay down on her bed. After it wore off a bit she went to the balcony to smoke. She looked around, taking in her surroundings. The view of the city was magnificent. She felt so cool. Everything was alright again. She felt a presence behind her but didn't turn around. They were quiet for a while before he spoke. "You really should stop. Completely. I see it in you. You've been down this road before. When it's this bad, you shouldn't even look at it again. At any drugs really. I'm so sorry I gave you that hit."
"All of you do it. I don't see why it should be different with me. I'm not your child, so stop treating me like one." "Molly..." She turned around abruptly. "You do not get to call me that. I only told my name to Scott, he's the only one who is allowed to use it." "If you don't want me to treat you like a child then STOP BEHAVING LIKE ONE!" With that he turned around and banged the door shut behind him.
Ugh! How she hated this. She was being looked down on. She knew she had a problem, but she didn't care! It was what got her through the day. Through life, even. And what did people expect? Her parents were druggies, so it only fit that she was one too. "I am disappointed in you, child. You have turned out just like your loser parents." her grandmother's voice rang through her head. She had said those words to her when she first found out about her addiction and then over and over again in her reoccurring nightmares. It had made her cry. They both cried, holding each other that day. She apologized profusely, begging her for forgiveness. Together they went to the rehab center, and she slowly got rid of her addiction. She had been clean for almost two years. Her grandmother died during those two years. She had been an awful woman. She beat her for every mistake she made since she was a child. But still she loved her. Now that she wasn't alive, she couldn't control her life anymore. She could do drugs, or die, or whatever and that wretched woman had no control over it. That made her laugh a bit.
.
"Your make up is fucked up. Just thought you should know. Were you crying?" Concern was written all over his face. "Maybe." She went into the bathroom to wipe it all off.
"Why were you crying?" She shrugged. She didn't even know why herself. "Was it because of what I said?" She shook her head. "Come on James, talk to me." "What do you want to talk about Marilyn? Me being a bratty child? My drug problems? Because I apologize but I don't feel like talking about that. And since I only get to shoot up twice a day now, I'd like to enjoy this high." He looked sad, but she didn't really care. "Well never mind then." He turned his back to her. She grunted. "Why do you insist on us staying together? Don't you mind that I'm being a cock blocker by being here?" He laughed, actually laughed out loud. "Please! I don't have to fuck every being on this planet." "Aren't you the God of fuck?" He laughed again. "I've been told so, yes." "By whom? Yourself in that song?" He chuckled. "Yeah sure, let's go with that." They were quiet for a while. Marilyn thought about something and then did it. He held out his hand. She looked at it questioningly, but then took it. "Hi. I'm Brian." She shook it and muttered: "Molly." She guessed now he could call her by her real name. She wondered how long it would take before everyone did. On the other hand, the rest of them call each other by their stage names, and they probably knew each other's real names. That calmed her down. She hated her name. It was a sick joke on her parents' part. It had been quiet for a while and then Brian spoke again. "I'm sorry for treating you like a child." It shocked her. But then again, he often did unexpected things, so she went with the flow. "I'm sorry for acting like one." But maybe, just maybe she meant it.
.
The crowd was cheering. She felt high from the adrenaline rush performing live gave her. It was enough for her to perform sober. As if faith was playing a trick on her, she realized what the next song was. Well fuck.
"I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

Norm life baby "we're white and oh so hetero and our sex is missionary"
Norm life baby "we're quitters and we're sober, our confessions will be televised"

You and I are underdosed and we're ready to fall
Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all
We're taught to be nothing

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

Norm life baby "our God is white and unforgiving we're piss tested and we're praying"
Norm life baby "I'm just a sample of a soul made to look just like a human being"

Norm life baby "we're rehabbed and we're ready for our 15 minutes of shame"
Norm life baby "we're talkshown and we're pointing just like Christians at a suicide"

You and I are underdosed and we're ready to fall
Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all
We're taught to be nothing

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

There's a hole in our soul that we fill with dope. And we're feelin' fine
There's a hole in our soul that we fill with dope. And we're feelin' fine
There's a hole in our soul that we fill with dope. And we're feelin' fine

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the (drugs)

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the (drugs)

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the (drugs)

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs (drugs)

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
Don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs
The drugs, the drugs like me
The drugs, the drugs
Don't like the drugs but the drugs like me..."


Marilyn kept turning around to look at her. When the song stopped it was quiet for a bit and then people went wild, but all she was thinking on the inside was how funny it was, because in her case she did like the drugs, but the drugs didn't like her. So very ironic. Ha.

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