We're from America (Marilyn Manson)

Running To The Edge Of The World

Hey Scott! I arrived here yesterday. I rented out a small cottage near the sea. It's freezing here, haha. But it's nice enough though.
Write soon!
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Hi! So, the past few days have been chaotic as fuck. I have been going through pretty hard withdrawal again. I really miss it. But it's all mental. I'll get through it. A few 'neighbors' have been dropping by every evening. They keep wanting me to join them for dinner or a party, or just hang out in general. I think they feel bad for me. I always refuse. I don't feel like being around anyone. Fuck I just want a hit.
Sorry, I'm trying as hard as I can.
I hope you're not missing me too much!
I miss you like crazy.
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Smoking weed doesn't count as a relapse, does it?
Turns out one of my neighbors grows it. So reluctantly I decided that hanging with one person wouldn't be so bad.
It wasn't. He was pretty cool. He's also an artist. A writer. I read his book and it was pretty good. About this puppet. She doesn't actually know she's a puppet though. Pretty meta.
So anyway I started hanging out with him a week ago. And after two days he made me go to party with him. With lots of people. God, I hated it. My anxiety levels were through the roof. I needed a hit really badly. But I stayed strong. God, I fucking hate this. The weed helps though.
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Hello friend.
I found this cute, secluded island nearby. I rented a boat. Yeah, IT WAS SCARY AS HELL, because I obviously don't know how to ride one. But I managed. Anyway, back to the island... There was no one around. I LOVED IT. And as I lay on the beach, I listened to... You know. And I started thinking about the new album. And how we parted ways. And all that other shit. Words just started forming in my mind. And I was thinking of writing a song. Of course, he won't use it. I know that. But I'd still like to give it a go. After I finish writing it, I'll send it to you.
I really miss you. I hope you're doing great!
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I showed my island to the writer. He was impressed by my boat riding skills. Or is it boat driving? Steering? I don't know. I'll have to ask him.
He liked my island. He said he wants to try writing there.
He told me that he too moved here to run away from life. It's easier here. He's been living here for 2 years. He's heard of you know who, but he doesn't know who I am. And that's great. I told him a lot of things about myself. How my parents were drug addicts. How my grandmother raised me. How she tortured me psychologically. How a guy almost raped me once. I even told him about my addiction. It's so easy to confide in someone you'll probably never see again. The great thing about him is that he doesn't seem to judge me. Of course, I left out all the parts of my life involving HIM. Unbelievable how it's still so hard to even think his name let alone write it down.
Spending so much time with someone else just makes me realize how I'm not even close to being over him.
Fuck this shit.
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Have you noticed how my letters are really weird? I'm up and I'm down and I'm all over the fucking place. Sorry...
I have been working on the song like I promised. It's almost finished.
I'll have it soon.
Also. I cannot believe it's been a month already. How time flies when you're fleeing your problems. Joke's on me though. My problems are vacationing right here with me. Yes, it's been a month but I still crave H. I still crave B. I haven't gotten any better. Talking to the writer helps. But I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I come back home. Some people just aren't meant to survive certain things. It's basic evolution. Oh well. This one-sided conversation is bumming me out. I'm really inclined to give you a return address. But I won't. For your sake. You deserve this vacation from me. And I know what you're thinking right now. Don't. You've done so much for me. Did you know that you're my first friend? And just knowing I have you to send these letters to... I love you. Thank you so much for being there.
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Scott. I know it's been a month since last I wrote. I apologize. What happened was the last letter really got me thinking. I decided against writing another until I could report a certain amount of progress.
It's been 15 days since I've thought about jamming a syringe full of heroin into my arm.
It's been 10 days since I've thought about harming myself.
And it has been 6 days 17 hours and 5 minutes since I've last thought about Brian.
I hope you're proud of me. :)
A few more weeks and I'll be back home. I promise.
I have the writer to be thankful to. We worked on something together. I won't tell you what. That's forever between me and him. I'm lame, I know. But I need this. He kept my mind off things, and we've developed a nice friendship. Nothing romantic! ;)
I don't think I'm able to fall in love anymore. (I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRINGY) But loving people has turned out to be a lot more painful than it's worth.
You are an exception to the rule.
Love you!
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Are you ready for this?
[Verse 1]
Remember when I took you up
To the top of the hill?
We had our knives drawn
They were as sharp as we were in love

If God crossed us, we'd take all his drugs
Burn his money and his house down
And wait for the fire to spread

[Pre-Chorus]
Sometimes hate is not enough
To turn this all to ashes
Together as one and against all others
Break all of their wings and make sure it crashes

[Chorus]
We're running to the edge of the world
We're running, running away
We're running to the edge of the world
I don't know if the world will end, today

[Verse 2]
I had no choice to erase the debt of our families
Let you say goodbye with lips like dynamite
Everyone turned their backs 'cause they knew
When we held on tight to each other
We were something fatal that fell into the wrong hands

[Pre-Chorus]
Sometimes hate is not enough
To turn this all to ashes
Together as one against all others
Break all of their wings and make sure it crashes

[Chorus]
We're running to the edge of the world
We're running, running away
We're running to the edge of the world
I don't know if the world will end, today

[Bridge]
We don't seek death, we seek destruction
Death, we seek destruction
We don't seek death, we seek destruction
Death, we seek destruction

We're running to the edge of the world
We're running, running away
We're running to the edge of the world
I don't know if the world will end, today

[Chorus]
We're running to the edge of the world
We're running, running away
We're running to the edge of the world
I don't know if the world will end, today

[Outro]
See a new beginning rise behind the sun
We could never catch up to them, as fast as we run
See a new beginning rise behind the sun
We could never catch up to them, as fast as we run

See a new beginning rise behind the sun
We could never catch up to them, as fast as we run
See a new beginning rise behind the sun
We could never catch up to them, as fast as we run

I'll see you in two days. You can tell me what you think then.
I can't wait to see you.

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*Author's note: To any reader I might still have out there... I am so sorry for this long hiatus. I found it really hard to continue my story. I usually wrote when I was feeling depressed or anxious, but I've been doing pretty well these last months. I also apologise for the shortness of this chapter and its quality. It'll get better, I promise.
ALSO I DO NOT OWN THE SONG, OF COURSE! I BORROWED IT AS MOLLY'S FOR STORY PURPOSES!
Thank you to all of you still out there baring with me!*