it was january when we met. a mutual friend spoke your name and i knew i could love you. we saw pictures of eachother. i felt my heart in my throat.
february came to us. i saw you on the train platform where you would come from school. you were even more angelic in front of me.
in march i knew i was in love. it happened so fast. we kissed in the field. it was your first kiss, but you did amazing, dear.
in april things were messy. i had been in a hospital trying to recollect my life as it fell through my fingers. you were slipping too.
during may spring was blooming in every inch of you. i couldn't have loved anyone more than you. we had had fights but, i always dragged myself back. i still have the scars.
june rose under us as days got longer, and i felt the shift. we fell in love too fast. or at least i did. i still wonder if you ever did. we agreed to hang out, but it never came.
july was silence between us. i would message, sober or not, begging to be recognized. you had never replied.
august was a repeat of the year before. days passed without sleep because you were in every nightmare i had.
school came that september, and we spoke once again. but you told me you couldn't, you're a junior you have a future. however i only saw you as my future. but you floated away like the leaves did.
in october i would go to the station every friday. it wasn't intended most times, but when i saw you i would cry. when you saw me you would just turn and walk.
november dragged me along. my heart was still shattering inside of me. you wouldn't leave my head, you still won't.
the snow fell in december. i started dating someone new. but the week of christmas he left like snow melting. cold and quick.
it's now january. i still trace my hand and lips and think of you. you crowd my thoughts like the platform where i stand just to see if you're still breathing fine, which you seem to be. my friends beg me to stop going but i fuel myself by seeing you. you must hate me for it.
but i hope to the god i can no longer believe in that maybe one day we can meet and start again, since we're only kids, we don't know what we're doing.
