It's been two weeks. I went to school for a few days until he started coming again. I can't handle seeing him everyday and him not knowing who I am. Today my mom was making me go though. I had exams soon so I needed to go.
I put on a pair of shorts and a tshirt. I straighten my hair, put on some makeup, put on some shoes and go. I walk in the school to see Ashton surrounded by a bunch of people who never spoke to him before this. I walk past the crowd, praying he won't see me.
"Hey Abby!" he says, waving at me. I look at him and everyone gives me a sad look. "That's my friend, Abby, she saw me in the hospital and said she was my girlfriend. Isn't that crazy? She's really beautiful. Too beautiful to be dating me."
I smile at him and keep walking. I make my way to my first class and sit down. Ashton walks in a bit later and sits next to me. I close my eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asks and I look up at him. He had a band tshirt, black jeans, and a bandana wrapped around his forehead covering the scar from the stitches.
"I'm fine," my voice sounded smaller than I expected. I look down at my paper and close my eyes. I can't do this. I really can't do this.
"You know who's really pretty? Hailey. She's dating Calum but she's really pretty, she's really nice too. I think you're prettier but I just think Calum is really lucky. Why did you say you were my girlfriend?" he rambles on. Since the surgery he can't stop his mouth. He has no censor.
"It was nothing," I try to force a smile but I can't.
"You seem sad, are you okay?" he asks.
"I'm okay," he says.
"You're really pretty," he says and I lose it. He said it in the same voice. He said it like how he said it when he knew me. I stand up and walk out of the room. Everyone looks at me but I just head for the bathroom. After a few minutes, Hailey walks in. She hugs me and I start crying again. I bawl into her shoulder.
"I can't look at him anymore," I say.
"I'm so sorry, Abby," she says and I shake my head.
"I can't live without him," I let out a sob.
"It'll be okay, I promise," she says and I shake my head.
"No, he doesn't love me anymore," I say.
"You know he does, somewhere in that heart of his. He keeps talking about you. He can't stop talking about you. We'll be doing work in English and he'll say to me, 'Abby said she was my girlfriend. She's so pretty, why would she be my girlfriend?'. He adored you and he still does. He just doesn't know why," she says.
"It hurts too much," I say.
"Maybe if you try to explain what happened he'll start to remember," she says and I shrug.
"I'll go to his house and talk to him," I say.
After school I went straight to his house and his mom let me go up to his room. He was listening to a record and reading something. I knock softly on the door and he looks at me with tears in his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Why don't I remember you?" he asks, "who are you?"
"I'm Abby, you were in a car accident. You were drunk and you hit your head and a lot happened. You forgot the past year and we met a few months ago," I explain and he shakes his head.
"Why don't I remember you?" he asks, more tears flowing.
"I don't know," I say, choking back tears.
"You said you love me," he says showing me the letter and the picture attached. It was a picture from one of our first dates. It was a simple selfie of us making weird faces at each other. I took hold of it and looked at him. "It feels like there's a massive hole in me and i can't get it back, I can't fulfil it because I don't remember it."
"The last time we had a conversation when you remembered...we were arguing. About you flirting with some girl while I was getting changed after dance so we could get food. I get a call the next morning telling me you were in an accident. I thought you might have gotten a few stitches and maybe something broken but then you don't even know my name. It really hurts knowing you don't remember anything and I know you can't do anything about it but I miss you, so much," I say as hot tears fall down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry," he says, "I barely know who you are."
I bite my lip to stop it from quivering. "Can we try to be together?"
"I don't feel that way towards you, Abby," he says and I nod. I turn away and walk out the door but his mom stops me. I stare at her and try to hold back tears.
"I think it's best if you stay away from him for a while," she says in a soft voice and I nod softly. "I'm so sorry."
I walk out the door and walk back home. I slam the door to my house shut and my mom comes up to me.
"Abby what's wrong?" she asks.
"He still doesn't remember," I whisper.
"I'm so sorry," she says with sincerity.
"I tried to get him to give me a chance but he says he doesn't like me that way," I say.
"It'll be okay," she hugs me and rubs my back.
