Off Camera

Pushed back emotions

my eyes had been glued upon the glass of the orange juice filled to brim that i held in my hand, in-front of my untouched bacon and eggs. it was bugging me how no matter how hard i tried and how badly i wanted it to vanish, what Liza had said kept repeating on a loop in my head. 

"babe come on you have to eat something, you have been sitting there for the past half hour staring off into space. did something happen between you and Liza at that party that i don't know about?" Spencer comes into the kitchen showing her concern for me. 

felt guilty that i haven't been able to tell spencer about my argument with liza and i couldn't understand as to why i couldn't. it's not like i am protecting Liza, nor should i be. standing up, i tipped my juice down the sink and the food into the bin. 

"Liza and i just had a small disagreement nothing to worry about though Spence. you should get going, you have that big meeting today you wouldn't want to be late!" why was i hurrying my own fiancé out from our home? i needed to get this whole liza situation sorted before i could even start thinking about my future plans with Spencer, and i was going to do that today. 

it took me 10 minutes to make sure that Spencer was well and truly gone when i hopped into my tesla that i now own and drove to the address that Gabbie had sent me where Liza's new home was.  pulling into the driveway felt like it was one of the most daunting thing i had had to do in a long time. this whole situation was too confusing for me to figure out but i needed to fix it before my emotions get played with once again. i can't let Liza pull me in again, i can't go through that. 

Liza's POV-

a loud consistant knocking pulled me away from unpacking my living room. i jumped down the stairs to the door and was thrown into a whirlwind of shock to find one mr David Dobrik standing on the other side. his hair was growing longer underneath his signature black cap, his hands hidden in the pockets of his usual black skinnies and his torso wrapped up in a hoodie which i can only assume is his merch hoodie that i had heard Gabbie talk about. 

"Liza we need to talk" he said not giving me a chance to even breath. i was still shocked by seeing him there so i stayed silent as i gestured him inside, only to find him finding his way around my new residence and storming upstairs to my unpacked kitchen, hands still in pockets. 

"Why did you come back here? my life was picture perfect without you having to waltz straight back into it and ruin it for me. geese Liza why is everything involving you confusing and messy?" he said resting his body against the marble bench tops, putting his head into his hands. i could hear confusion and anger in his voice. i had to fight every fibre in my body to swallow down the tears that i could feel make their way up through the back of my throat. my eyes moved to the wooden floors and my arms hugged my torso. 

"i didn't mean to meddle or to ruin things with you David. i shouldn't have come back here." 

"yeah you shouldn't have. you should have stayed with Sam or whatever his name is back in Houston. but no, little Liza felt the need to move back here and expect everything to go back to the way that they were before our lives turned to shit." 

"look i said im sorry ok, yelling at me isn't going to make my feelings that i still have for you go away." i didn't mean to say the last line but it just slipped out. i threw my hands over my mouth instantly, as i watched as David's boy became rigid and stiff, as he stood up straight and looked down at me with shock.

"what did you just say?" he asked in a soft yet harsh voice. 

"David i never stopped loving you. im so sorry" i couldn't fight these tears anymore. i let them pour from my eyes as i waited for David to make a move or to say something, but nothing happened, he just stood frozen to where he had been standing his eyes still tied on me. 

"you can't do this Liza. its not fair on me." i heard his voice crack but it shocked me at how sad he sounded when he now talked to me.

"i know that David" i say in between sniffles. "thats why i didn't come back sooner. i was planning on coming back to LA to talk things out with you but Gabbie had told me a day before that you had met someone and seemed happy again. so i forced myself into a relationship where i wasn't happy in because Sam was never you. im sorry David. trust me if my feelings for you had an off switch i would have turned them off a long time ago but they don't and i have to deal with these feelings everyday and every night, i have to watch on as you walk into the next step of your life, the life that once upon a time we had been talking about." 

"you never called me Liza, or even texted me. you could have reached out to me earlier before i met spencer to at least tell me where you were at with your feelings. Liza i was left heartbroken by you, but yet it killed me everyday to wake up and know that you weren't going to be next to me and it took every fibre in my body to finally find the strength to move on, and i did but then you had to come back here and tell me you still love me. why does everything end up messy when your involved." still crying, i looked up at the man that i still loved with all of my heart and spoke the words that i wished i never had to say.

"go to her David, forgot what i said and forget about me. your right. its not fair on you and i was living in a dream world when i thought that you might still have the slightest feelings. im so sorry David for everything." i walked away downstairs to my room, packed boxes still cluttering up the room. i don't quite remember the full details of what exactly happened next but i do vaguely remember the small bits leading up to what was about to change my life. 

i was listening through my tears to Davids heavy footsteps saunter out from my home and start his car. i felt alone and scared that i had no one to call my own. thats when i heard the door open up again, and those same footsteps stand still in the doorway of my room. i lift my heavy head up from where they had been resting upon my knees to find David, wet from the sudden rain storms outside, tears something through his eyes. he had an expression on his face that i had seen before, love. within a blink of an eye, he was holding out his hands for me lifting me from the floor, moving his to then cup my tear stained face.

his thumb crept across my cheeks wiping away the last falling tears as he looked straight into my eyes, both of us breathless for some reason. his lips finally connected with mine creating the most powerful and passionate kiss that i had ever experience in my life. 

"i never stopped loving you either Liza" were his last words we spoke that night to each other as we were to busy with finding each other again, finally making our way to my bed, creating a love that we had not felt in a long time.