Daughter ✯ Kellic

Chapter Seven

Later that day, I was home with Copeland as Mike sat in his room blasting violent music, occasionally drumming along. It didn't seem to bother the baby, so I didn't make an effort to quiet him down. It was weird just sitting here alone, Kellin and I usually spent the weekends together watching TV or playing board games. Anything to occupy our time and distract Kellin from worrying about his graduation. Being the legal guardian of Mike, I always got his grade reports (average Cs most of the time), but Kellin usually kept his grades secret. I figured that he was likely embarrassed, forgetting that I dropped out. I should be the one who's embarrassed when talking about school.

Eventually, Mike comes out to the kitchen where I sit, watching Copeland shove small spoonfuls of applesauce into her mouth. He greets me and sits down across from us at the table, closely watching the child eat her pre-dinner snack, then turning to stare at me. "So, what did you do today?" Mike questions with a curious smirk. I return the obnoxious smile and remain quiet, reaching a napkin up to Copeland's mouth and wiping away any excess food. "C'mon, I'm your brother, I deserve to know."

"No, you're just nosy," I reply. I see him roll his eyes. Although I am being playful about the subject, I'm truly worried about telling Mike what I had done today. Again, it was a friendly lunch, mostly for Jaime to make amends after hurting me so badly. It was redemption for both of us, there was nothing bad about it. So why do I feel so guilty? "Since you're just dying to know, I went out to eat with a friend," I finally say, holding back a small portion of the truth.

Mike nods, clearly not suspicious about anything. Not that there's anything for him suspect, I just really don't want him to know I'm back in contact with Jaime. They hate each other; hell, I've hated Jaime for the longest time, but this is probably the last encounter we're really going to have. I don't see myself befriending him, but at least there's no longer a grudge between us.

We continue to silently sit with Copeland who continues on indulging in her applesauce. Mike gets up after a few minutes and returns to his drums, clearly not interested in sitting with me now that he got what he wanted. I hate being here without Kellin on the weekend, and it's making me antsy. He's stayed with friends before (mostly Oli and Alex), but every time I feel like I'm being protective and constantly checking up on him. I honestly worry about him turning around and going back into his old habits, so my safeguarding at least has good reason behind it. I care about him and his daughter, and if he makes one bad decision, it could be the end for him.

The day slowly passes, and with a sigh I place Copeland in her crib, then crawling into my own bed, wishing Kellin were here to curl up next to me. I always have troubles falling asleep when he isn't home, and as much as I despise how quickly I've grown attached to him, I just want him. I know him leaving was partially my fault, I could have handled the situation better. Instead, I hurt him and he's taking time to get away from me. I turn off the bedside lamp and roll onto my side, hoping I can catch some sleep better tonight than most nights where Kellin is absent.

• • •

I wake up the next morning beyond tired, rolling over to see that it's not even five in the morning yet. Mike probably isn't even up and getting ready for school yet. I send Kellin a text asking if he's coming home first or getting a ride straight to school, but a reply doesn't come within the five minutes I sit waiting for it. I stretch and force myself out of the bed that seems to still be calling my name, venturing into the nursery and checking on the sleeping baby. Everything is calm and quiet this morning, and empty without Kellin.

I trek downstairs and throw a couple eggs in a pan just to occupy myself. If I ever lose Kellin, what am I going to do? It's such an intrusive and hurtful thought, but it creeps up in my mind nonetheless. I'd to fill the void he'd surely leave somehow, and that simply terrifies me. I know everything about what Mike was dabbling into with Tony, I was a kid once too, but using it as a way to make myself feel better was just...destructive. Would I do those kinds of silly things again if I lost someone I cared so deeply about? My eggs are nearly burnt by the time I realize I had completely zoned out in thought, and I quickly scoop them onto a plate and shut off the stove top.

I sit down at the table and gaze off at nothing. I'm overthinking and second guessing things again, aren't I? Two things I made a resolution to quit doing. Mike taps on my shoulder after a while and I nearly jump out of my seat. "Jeez, you okay?" he questions, then stealing my plate of eggs and shoveling them into his mouth like a madman.

"Yeah, just tired." I rub my eyes for show and let out a completely staged yawn. I glance at the clock on the stove. "You ready to get going?" Once he nods in confirmation and tosses the plate into the sink (I could seriously punch him if I didn't feel so guilty about everything going on right now), I toss him the keys to my car and he gives me a confused look.

"You're not driving me?" I shake my head.

"I believe in you to drive yourself without wrecking my precious vehicle. And if I find out you skipped, I'll have your ass," I warn. "Be safe." I dismiss the conversation with a wave of my hand. He grins and happily skips to his room, retrieving his backpack before leaving the house. I hope I'm doing something good for him here. He's old enough to drive himself around, and it isn't like he hasn't before. I used to drive him so that I could make good time and get to the daycare center early, and when Kellin came around it was so that I could have my car during the day.

Before long, Kellin shows up, and I honestly can't tell if I'm more annoyed or relieved. He never replied to my message, and he has school to attend today, but he greets me as if it's just another day for him to lounge around. I take note of the scent of weed and watch as Oli gives me a small wave and takes off down the road. Maybe that kid is worse news than I took him for the first few times around.

"Were you smoking?" I ask almost immediately as we both step into the house. Kellin laughs and throws himself onto the couch.

"Last night. Not today," he replies with a sly smile. I nod and sit down next to him.

"Copeland is upstairs sleeping, Mike is at school, so why are you here?" He pauses to think for a second.

"Oh, because I live here." I roll my eyes. I know he knows exactly what I meant. "I think I'm going to drop out." My jaw nearly hits the floor. Where is this even coming from? The only thing he has to build off of is education. "Like, I don't even want to finish school anymore."

"You're crazy," I say. He shrugs and lays his head back. "What are you going to do then? Get a job at McDonald's and work there for the rest of your life?"

"Maybe." He smiles again. "I mean, you didn't finish high school, and look at you, Mr. Successful." He reaches a hand out and gives me a light tap in the chest. "I'll be okay." But I'm not so sure how true that statement is.