Daughter ✯ Kellic

Chapter Thirteen

sorry if this story starts progressing a hell of a lot in the last few chapters, I'm trying to pull it to an end. it's also very anticlimactic whoops.
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I was already home when Kellin came bustling in the front door. I was hiding in the bathroom upstairs, yet I still managed to hear the door close behind him. I hyperventilated a bit and kept and head between my hands. Was Copeland with him? Did he absolutely hate me? Was he going to kick my ass? Was I even willing to face him and find out?

I rubbed at the stubble on my chin and looked up to the mirror wanting to punch a fist straight through my reflection. My phone had been vibrating for the past hour or so with Jaime calling me and me refusing to answer. It had finally stopped but I was so spaced out that I hadn't noticed until just then. It had lined up to about ten missed calls and a few voice mails that I didn't intend to listen to. It was time I cut Jaime out of my life, and I finally realized it. He isn't healthy for me, not even now.

I go over what happened last night with a shaky mind, recounting all the different things that led to us actually sleeping with each other. Though I'm not technically with Kellin anymore, that doesn't stop me from feeling terrible about everything. It began with us setting up the table -- our initial goal, obviously. That didn't take long,  so we sat down for a drink which I should have known from the start was a terrible idea. One drink turned into another before we were shoving our tongues down each other's throats and other such devious acts.

It was just hours ago, yet it felt like an eternity. I hid from Mike first, rushing up to the bathroom without hesitation and locking myself in there. I haven't moved since, just sitting here and waiting for my courage to come back to me. Maybe it never will, and I'll just be here until I starve to death or something else as equally as unrealistic.

The knock at the door nearly sent me into cardiac arrest as I readjusted my perch on the toilet seat. "Occupied!" I squeaked out, hoping and praying it wasn't Kellin coming to scream at me. The knock was repeated as I held my breath in anticipation that whoever was on the other side would simply leave. "Go away!" I shouted, hoping they would abide and leave me to wallow in my self hatred alone.

"Vic, you have to come out." It was Mike, with a soft tone, telling me something I already knew. "Kellin just got home. He needs to speak with you." I swallowed down the salivation quickly building up in my mouth and let out a sharp breath.

"He hates me, Mike. I can't do it."

There was a brief pause before Mike let out a small sigh and peered at me through the crack between the door and the wall. "He doesn't hate you. Come talk to him before I throw a match in there and smoke you out." His threat wasn't what got me up, but I finally decided to listen to him and exit the bathroom. He was standing on the other side of the door, a concerned expression plastered on his face.

"Mike, I'm--"

"Nope, I don't want any excuses. Give those to Kellin." He navigated behind me and pushed me towards the staircase with a little shove. I began my descent, eyes locking on Kellin as soon as I reached the bottom. He was frowning, but I wouldn't say he looked particularly annoyed with me. He cleared his throat and began without any hesitation.

"Where in the hell were you, Vic?" The interrogation had begun.

"Spent the night at a friend's," I halfheartedly lied, avoiding Kellin's eyes. "I was nervous about today. I got cold feet."

"Who?" I shuffled my feet and attempted to think up a lie, but I couldn't. Kellin knew I didn't associate with hardly anyone, meaning there really wasn't much of a way for me to pull this off. I felt Mike brush behind me and close the door to his room, immediately turning up his music and tuning Kellin and I out. "Who, Vic?" Kellin repeated.

"Jaime and I recently patched things up, and he needed me to help set up a table. It isn't a big deal, I just got tired and passed out on his couch. When I woke up, I realized that I couldn't make it to the courtroom in time. It was an honest mistake, Kellin." Liar. I am such a liar.

But Kellin apparently believed me, pulling me in for a hug and laying his head on my shoulder. "You're real fucking lucky I didn't lose custody of my damn daughter, you asshole." Or maybe he didn't believe me at all. He leaned back and we looked at each other for what felt like the first time in forever. "Katelynne settled. We're going to switch back and forth weekly now that Katelynne lives in the area again." It seemed like such a simple solution to something that had been haunting the both of us for what felt like an eternity.

"But real fucking soon, Vic, you're going to tell me what really happened. You know I don't believe you."
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A week passed, and I still hadn't told Kellin what had truly happened with Jaime. Considering Copeland wasn't with us for those days, Kellin slept on the couch knowing he didn't have to be close to her nursery in order to sleep soundly. I felt terrible, it was as if he really just knew I was full-blown lying to him and he decided to stop trusting me altogether. The day before Copeland was scheduled to come back, I decided I would finally come clean.

Kellin and I sat on the couch, turned slightly to face each other. He was chewing on a piece of sugar free gum that radiated a minty smell every time he slightly open his mouth. I was distracted by it, almost completely forgetting what I called him down here to do. When I remembered, I sighed and faced him again, hating the way looking into his eyes made me want to burst into tears. God, I genuinely love him more than I ever realized. I can't believe I screwed all of this up.

"So, what's up?" his voice broke my trance and left me staring at him with furrowed brows and a shameful feeling rising in my throat. I couldn't sugar coat this, there was no way for me to. Besides, I had no desire to do something like that anymore. At this point, all I wanted was Kellin and I wanted him to be happy. I wish I could have realized that sooner, but better late than never I suppose.

And so I took a deep breath and gave it to him straight. "I had sex with Jaime and missed court."

It was done. Kellin knew everything. But that didn't stop my mind from rushing in a million incoherent thoughts about what he may be thinking in his own mind. He was silent, sat back slightly and looking more towards the floor now. "We aren't together anymore, we haven't been for a bit now," Kellin began in a low tone. "But that doesn't excuse you pulling some shit like that. If I can manage it, I'll be moving out soon. I don't want this to be my future anymore."

My eyes stung with tears as he stood and brushed off his knees, leaving me in silence. I can't believe I just lost the best thing to ever happen to me.