Chapter Eight

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*maniacal laughter in the distance* also updates might become a little random soon. I'm trying to focus on my art and schoolwork, which gives me less time for writing. hope you guys understand (^:
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Luckily, Kellin hadn't fallen through with his whole "dropping out" plan. At least not yet, if he still thought it was a good idea. Maybe those few times I reminded him about his daughter that he still needed to raise, and the fact that he only had just a few more months of schooling, got through to him well enough to change his mind. Or maybe he was just skipping school every day and getting high with Oli somewhere, something I wouldn't know anything about. He had become more secretive, hardly speaking with me about any of the things he used to. I almost felt like his parent, in a really odd way; like when teenagers go through those phases of not looking at you because they just hate your rules without explanation.

Copeland had been quickly growing, and it sometimes felt like Kellin wasn't even paying attention to her achievements at all. I remember the time we were out to eat and she said her first word, something she threw around all the time now. Sure, that was old news, but she could imitate animal noises and differentiate between Kellin, Mike, and me. She had been walking for a while, being able to stand stably on her two stumpy legs now, something Kellin didn't give much praise for. I was sure to congratulate her on everything good, sometimes glancing over to Kellin and hoping he would catch on and join in, but he was usually too absorbed with whatever he was doing on his phone.

As if he didn't already give me that weird, aforementioned parental feeling, the texting wasn't what threw it out of proportion. It was the "whatever"s and eye rolls when I tried to talk to him first that really pushed me over the edge. I contemplated taking his phone away, realizing how stupid that idea was a few seconds after it popped into my head. Mike had began to notice as well, sometimes staring at Kellin for minutes, just waiting for him to notice Mike's eyes that were locked on him. Usually, Mike would just get bored and walk away, flashing me a worried glance every time.

That was what it was like when Kellin was home. More and more of his time was now being spent with that Alex kid, sometimes Oli. Most of the time, he didn't even say where he was going, just that he was going. He would come back hours later just to bury his face in his phone and ignore us all. I have to give him credit, though: he does still find some time for Copeland. She doesn't go without love from her father, which was the only reason I was letting this behavior continue. God, I sound like a mom.

Today has been no exception, but there was one thing out of the ordinary that happened. I had received a text from Jaime after Mike and Kellin had returned home. He had done this plenty of times since our friendly lunch, knowing that I was easy to forgive him. He said something about not having any papers to grade and wondering if I was busy. I glance up at Kellin, who is clearly distracted, and text out a simple reply that I have nothing going on either. I have told neither Kellin nor my brother that I'm back in contact with my abusive ex boyfriend, but it isn't because I feel guilty. I really don't want Mike to freak out about it, and the same goes for Kellin.

Besides, Jaime has obviously changed. We're friends again, like we were before we started dating years back.

I get another message asking if I want to hang out, and I agree without a second thought. Another one comes about him picking me up, and I slide my phone into my pocket after reading it, standing and walking over to Mike's room. "I'm going out for a little while!" I shout through the closed door. "Don't burn the house down!" I then walk over to Kellin who's supposed to be monitoring his child but seems more involved with other things. "I'm gonna go out and get some fresh air for a bit."

"Okay," he says, not bothering to look up at me.

"Love you," I say. He hums in response. With a small sigh, I walk to the front door and wait in anticipation for Jaime's arrival.

Jaime's car pulled up right when I was about to give up hope, and I gladly climb in the passenger seat, hoping neither my boyfriend nor my brother manage to see Jaime. "Hey," he says once I'm situated. I give a small smile as make our way down the street.

"Hey."

He gives me a strange, concerned look. "You alright?" I nod, avoiding his eyes through the prismatic rear-view mirror, instead looking out the window. "I don't believe that. What's up?" It's weird, having him care about my well being. Who would have thought that all that time, he knew my distress signals and simply ignored them? I always just took him for an oblivious, manipulative fuck who couldn't care less if I was depressed. I chew on my fingernails nervously before forming a response that hopefully won't make matters worse.

"Petty relationship problems," I say; "It's not a big deal." He nods but doesn't dismiss the conversation.

"Is he hurting you?" That is most definitely the strangest thing Jaime has ever asked. I can say, with full confidence, that I do not doubt for a minute that he has completely turned himself around. I shake my head. Kellin would never do such a thing. He gets on my nerves sometimes, and he's shoved me a bit before, but he would never hurt me. Not like what Jaime used to do.

The remainder of the ride is mostly silent, and once we to his apartment, not much transpires. He talks to me about some of his wild students, something I never thought I'd actually be interested in hearing. But he's always been passionate about teaching, despite his overwhelming sense of frustration and anger that used to hold him back. I had never been to his new apartment before, but it was nice. Cozy and perfect for him. Once in his bedroom, he grabs my arm, and I resist yelping in fear.

I really have to get over that.

Once he realizes the shock he gave me, he immediately releases. "Sorry," he mumbles. "I just wanted to ask you a weird question." He seems anxious, like there's something huge he needs to get off his chest. The anxiety spreads to me like some heavily contagious disease.

"Shoot," I say, hating the way my voice quivers.

"Before I begin, let me just clear some things up, okay?" I nod. He holds up a finger, instructing me to wait in the room, while he runs off to the bathroom. He returns in a few seconds with a few prescription-filled bottles, handing them all to me. "See these? I'm on these because of you, because you broke my heart." Months ago, I would have felt bad about it, but I know for a fact that I did us both good by leaving him. "I tried to kill myself after you left." Or, maybe not.

"You never told me that," I reply quietly. I look through the bottles. One is for antidepressants, another anxiety medication, and another for the medication he takes for his anger that he told me about when we first saw each other again. I never even thought about how breaking up with Jaime may have affected him. Maybe I was the selfish one. "I'm so sorry."

"No, don't apologize. You did what was right, and it took me a long time to see that." He sits down on the bed and I follow, carefully placing the items he handed to me behind us, then turning back to face him. "I'm telling you now because, well, just look at me. I've got a steady job, nice apartment, my clothes are clean, and I eat every day," he continues;  "I never wanted to make you feel guilty because you don't deserve to." It's sweet, heartwarming even. I really look at him for a second, and it almost feels like I'm not even looking at Jaime. He's so...different.

I pull myself away from staring at him, before I start creeping him out. "You said you had a question. What is it?"

"Would you ever -- not now, of course -- consider getting back together with me?"

It was the last thing I ever expected to hear, but maybe it should have been the first thing to come to mind when Jaime said he had a "weird question". I look at him again despite turning away only seconds ago. I'm with Kellin, and I don't plan on ever leaving him. I love him more than anything (not including Mike), and I've come to love his daughter just as much. We're like a family. I don't see myself without him. "Jaime, I've already told you, I'm in a serious relationship with someone else now."

"I know, I know." He bites his lip before speaking again. "Hypothetically, then. If you were single, would you ever consider taking me back?"

I surprise myself with the answer. "Yes."

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