My Demon

Dark Heart - 5

When I awoke, Claudis was half asleep by my bedside as I noticed my eyes had landed on his.

I tore mine away quickly and I felt less exhausted.

I sat up slowly and the sheets fell to my lap easily as I noticed my shirt was taken off.

"Mind telling me how you got those bruises?" Claudis asked knowing full well how I got them.

I only glared back at his ruby red irises with annoyance. "I don't need you're help, you can't protect anyone so why bother?" I shifted the sheets off my lap and got out of the bed.

I stumbled a little, but regained balance easily as his eyes noticed the contusions hadn't hindered movement. "You are rarely this impetus about something as meaningless as vengeance, Ryoma. I know you are harboring those feelings under your own word,"

I could only glared back reluctantly.

He's got to be kidding, there's no way I want to be like this.

"What do you find so important about a fallen anyway, Claudis?" Bitterly asking his claim of the essentiality of my existence. "Don't you think I want to stop?! For God's sake, I want to but you know next to nothing about Ryu or me. You don't have a clue what happened to me!"

He got up and instinctively my body started to veer away from his.

"Fallen or not, you are vital, Ryoma," His voice almost above a whisper. "I meant what I said, that you are important to me."

It infuriated me that he makes it sound like I should care. We never agreed upon anything, but protecting Ryu.

"Don't say things you don't mean, I know you only cared about Ryu. Stop pretending you care about me," my voice hung in the air and then I felt Claudis take a hold of my hand. I instantly pulled away as the whole idea of him being so kind me were zero. "Just stop!"

I turned fast to face him and in those ruby red eyes, I saw no trickery. I couldn't understand why he was so adamant about protecting me, I could handle myself fine.

"I cannot do that." Staring into his eyes and ensnared by the sound of his velvety voice, I could tell something wasn't right. "I do care about Ryu, but Ryoma, it was always you I cared about most. You changed me in ways no one has done for me in a long time,"

I wanted to back away and cringe in repulsion at the idea the demon lord before me was being earnest.

"So, you save my little brother even though I never met you before," I searched his humorless face. "Claudis, I only put up with you because of Ryu. I can't believe you lied to him like that,"

It hurt to think of my little brother being betrayed by Claudis and tricked into a mess of feelings I never wanted.

"I never did." Claudis answered solemnly and my anger wanted to stab him through his demonic heart. "Ryu knew, he knew how I felt about you."

I started to laugh hysterically in response because this was ludicrous.

How could he say that with a straight face? My god, does he think I'm a sentimentalist?

Claudis's reaction to my laughter caused him to draw closer as my laugh died down. His eyes the smoldering red from earlier.

"You really except me to take that at face value?" I scorned his right to say this in front of me. "I hate demons for one reason in particular, they always betray those who show them an ounce of kindness. You aren't any different from them,"

His eyes never left the frame of mine. "You always push away anything that disproves that belief, Ryoma. It is a forced belief you tell yourself to justify what you do. What horrors spurred such contempt for demons?"

How did he know I was...

He took a hold of my left arm in a gently firm grip. "You isolate yourself and tell yourself, you are never good enough to have anything. I used to think like that, Ryoma, you are wrong if that is any way for you to life a meaningful existence. Ryu never wanted you to be miserable, but he noticed you denied happiness for yourself just for him. You are the only one making your life unbearable, it is not demons."

A memory invaded my thoughts.

Ryu's cries from the closet as I held back by a group of demons. Fear climbed up my throat as the demon neared the baby's position and I tore from the hold on my arms. I ferociously picked up my dagger and killed the demon who held me moments before as its black blood splattered over me.

I ran towards the demon who went after my little brother and I plunged the dagger through his back to reach his heart.

Ryu cried out loudly and I picked him up. He stopped crying, but I shielded his innocent eyes from the dead bodies of our parents and I took care of him.

I came back when I found Claudis's arms wrapped around my shoulders and for a brief moment I was stunned. I pushed away in surprise.

I ran out of the room.

What the hell? Why did he...

You changed me.

Ryu knew, he knew how I felt about you.

He was in love with me, not just obsessed, but in love with me.

No, I'm not falling for him. I refuse to let him stirrup anything inside me.

The old me might've been able to doubt all demons were unkind, but they murdered my parents and attempted to kill my baby brother that night so long ago. Since that night I fell from grace, now the only thing left inside me was the void.

I never told Ryu that our parents were murdered for their optimistic beliefs about demons or how I fell from grace. I never explained anything to him and hearing Claudis say Ryu knew about my denial to be loved, hurt more than being a fallen one.

I gave up hope a long time ago that anyone would care about me, but Ryu. My heart had grown dark over time and that made for a lonely existence in Illuminara.

I remember how I begged and pleaded to be let back in, so that I could protect Ryu out of guilt.

Everything that happened that night to our parents, to him, and to my innocence was my responsibility; mine alone.

Claudis can try to knock down the heavily fortified dark heart buried in my chest, but nothing will divert this need to take back what demons stole from me.

I know getting back everything was a long shot, but what I wanted might not exist anymore.

Not even I know what will become of me.

Thanks for the votes and for reading My Demon. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I do when writing it. Next chapter will be posted soon. Until then enjoy.