I Am Cameron

Don't Do That

"Sorry", she says quickly. I furrow my brow.

Sorry?

"I forgot that you were injured and I hit you and I probably hurt you more and you just got out of the hospital and we just met. I can't believe I hit you. You just surprised me all of a sudden and that was the first response that came to my mind. I wanted to apologize earlier, but you never came down for dinner and I wrote you a note and left it on your desk so maybe you could see it in the morning, but then you started breathing hard in your sleep so I adjusted your pillow but then you woke up and I", she stops rambling mid-sentence and looks up at me, worried. "Sorry", she whispers.

I give another awkward smile and rub the back of my neck.

"So it was just your hair on my face and not a bug", I state, obviously relieved. Now she looks at me curiously. When neither of us says anything, I slowly walk over to the desk. Sure enough, there is a paper neatly folded in the center.

"Um. Please don't read it now", she blurts out. I stop my extending arm and turn to her. "I.. I ramble a lot. The letter... It has a lot of rambling too and I know I'm being weird, but can you... You can read it later, right", she says, her eyes pleading. Despite the awkwardness of it all, I was amused as well. I grin at her.

"Okay, I'll read it later. In exchange, can you guide me to the kitchen? I'm a bit hungry", I say. She visibly relaxed before nodding quickly. She opens my door slightly, letting a stream of soft light pour in, illuminating half her face. She really is beautiful.

"It's this way", she mumbles. I nod and step closer at a slow pace. Once I'm a few steps from the door, she begins walking out and down the hall. I follow suit as I try to memorize this maze I'm living in. I know we've made it to the kitchen when Trinity reaches over and turns on the light.

I didn't worry about the appearance of the kitchen. My growling stomach overpowered the inevitable awe.

"The leftovers are in the second fridge", she says. My head snaps towards her with my eyes wide.

"Why do you need two refrigerators", I ask in disbelief. She gives a faulty laugh while staring at the floor.

"Kidding", I manage to hear her whisper.

"Oh ha ha", I respond. She smiles at the ground as I shake my head and open the fridge. There is a special kind of happiness a person feels when a refrigerator is stocked full. I have obtained that happiness. There were plenty of actual food with its contents marked in Tupperware containers. Lasagna. Alfredo with the shrimp and chicken containers next to each other. Beef stew. Taco salad. I had plenty of options to choose from.

I couldn't decide in the end which leftover I wanted, so I grabbed a stem of grapes, a cinnamon roll, and an orange juice bottle instead. It's not healthy and I made sure of it. I turn back around with the food in my hand only to see Trinity giving me the 'really? That what you chose? Alright. It's your life' face. I grin and she looks away.

We end up sitting in the living room for a bit while I ate.

"I really am sorry", she mutters for the nth time.

"You don't have to keep apologizing to me. I get it", I say, popping a grape into my mouth. They're almost gone and that's saddening.

"Right. Sor-- I mean... It's just a habit I have", she says. I nod in understanding.

"It's fine. You want some", I say, offering a few grapes. She stares at them for a while before turning away. I dropped my hand. The silence grew as time passed making this extremely awkward. Should I say something?

"I don't... I don't like when people touch me. I hate when guys touch me. A long time ago, that's all people ever did", she starts. "Over time, people just got worse with me just because, supposedly, I'm beautiful to them. I... I just- I couldn't save myself no matter how much I wanted to and I had pretty much given up on everything that I had ever hoped for myself and shut myself inside my own head so no one could see what I was feeling until my brother saved me. He brought me here almost two years ago and it was hard for both of us, but I trusted him to keep me safe and he did. He still does, but I have to work hard too. After a while, it wasn't that bad. I'm used to Lily, Tom, and Olly. They don't scare me", she pauses.

She turns to me, looking guilty.

"You scare me", she starts, making me freeze. "And it's not your fault. It's mine. It's hard to see you as a person and not a potential attacker and I- I need to get used to you, but it's going to take a while. So until then, I'm sorry", she finishes. I shake my head quickly.

"No. I understand. Take all the time you need", I say. I felt like telling her that I would never hurt her, but I feel like she's heard that too many time to have faith in those words. She nods before quickly hiding her face.

"I said such embarrassing things", she mutters. I give a small smile. I still don't know what to say to her. We just sat in silence for a little while longer, before she raises her hand to suppress a yawn. It made me fully aware that we were just sitting around in the middle of the night instead of sleeping. She definitely looked tired, now that I think about it. She didn't say otherwise, so we just stayed in our era of silence.

A few minutes later, I notice her eyes fluttering to stay awake. I have no idea why she would force the exhaustion away like that, but it made me smile.

"Are you tired?" I ask, knowing the answer. She shakes her head no before yawning again. I chuckle slightly and she gives a small smile.

"I am", she whispers.

"I thought so", I said before standing up. I stretch my arms and yawn before turning to her. " I think we should go back to our rooms".

She nods and stands up. She begins walking up the stairs, keeping her head down as I followed suit. We passed two doors before she stopped at the third one. She turns around and faces me now. She then inhales deeply.

"Thank you for listening. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable", she says. I was about to tell her that I was fine when she lowered her head and mumbled a goodnight and some other words that I couldn't make out. In the end, I was left staring at her door wondering what just happened. When I yawn again, I decide to forget about it until morning. There's no way I'm figuring anything out tonight.

I walk around the corner to the next staircase and open my door. Considering I fell asleep fully dressed the first time, this time I kicked off a few layers before climbing into bed. I dozed off before I knew it.

The last thing that I remember crossing my mind was the neatly folded letter sitting on my desk.