I Am Cameron

Resurrection

Ellie, Tom, Trinity, Oliver.I've seen them all in the last few minutes, the last few blinks of life I managed to maintain. None of them seemed happy which isn't how I would have imagined them if I was dead. I also thought I'd see Gran a lot as well. She's how this journey started so I needed her to be here as it ends. Maybe a dead Cameron is the last thing she wants to see, but of everything and everyone, she's the last thing I want to see.The first thing I saw, however, was the red tint of my inner eyelids as light beamed into them. I groan and cover my eyes with my hand, the one that could move. Opening my eyes slightly, I could see that the room was empty, which was a bit disappointing. I could definitely fool myself into believing that this was the waiting room to get into Heaven and I just have to wait for my turn, but I've been a realist for too long.This is definitely a hospital. In the span of seven months, I've been hospitalized twice. That's not even a record breaker for me. Under past circumstances, being here alone with no support to get back on my feet would be normal and expected, but now I'm more than aware of the crutch my new family provided.Just as I begin to get stuck in my feelings, an angel walks through the door. She sighs in relief, her brown eyes still looking worried. I don't blame her. I knew I looked like shit too."Welcome back Cameron," Trinity says, her voice soft and comforting. I give a weak smile as I try to sit up. Not really enjoying the pain of effort, I lie back down and stare at the ceiling. "You're not hurt are you," I ask her. I hear a small, amused puff of breath followed by light footsteps towards me."I'm fine. Aside from your stepdad and those men, you're the only one that's hurt. I should be the least of your worries right now," she explains. I nod, internally disagreeing with her. I want to know she's safe, even if I am the one on the hospital gurney. "What happened," I ask. "You know... after I passed out I guess."Trinity sighs again, her soft curls moving with her as she sits in the seat next to me."Luckily, I called the ambulance and cops immediately after the crash. They got there pretty fast. One officer parked his car between us and Austin. I didn't see what happened on the other side, but I guess I didn't care at the same time," she says, her voice changing to a solemn whisper. "You were dying in front of me and saying stupid things. Like you couldn't tell me after you got better? I pray to God you weren't thinking of dying, not after what you had said in the car moments before. Our life is worth living, remember?"I look away from her, feeling guilty but at the same time feeling right. I didn't mind dying there in the middle of an intersection. That wasn't a big deal to me. Never seeing her or the twins or even Oliver again is what made me sad."So your stepdad and his partners are currently waiting for the final sentencing. Mrs. Anastasia sent them your screenshots as evidence. They'll either get him for that, illegal possession of a firearm or for his third DUI charge--""That all happened in a day," I say amazed. Trinity furrows her brow and shakes her head."It's been over two weeks Cam," Trinity says."Wait seriously," I ask. "What's today's date?""April 30th, 2019. Why," she asks.I can't believe it."I spent my 18th birthday in a coma," I say amazed. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Life just keeps throwing me curve balls knowing damn well I have tunnel vision. I continue my small laugh as I sit up. Just like that, all my problems have been solved."Can you tell Gran I'm ready to go," I ask Trinity. She hesitates for a second and thinks."Well you're 18 now, so you can just check yourself out," she says, not confident in her words."Yeah, but I still can't drive home like this--""She loved you, you know that right," Trinity says, her eyes puffing up. I watch her confused."She would light up when she talked about you and she always had you in her thoughts--""Wait. Why are you using past tense--""She did everything she possibly could for you and all of us here, more than you know. She was the greatest parent ever, practically family, but you knew what she was dealing with," she says."Okay, but you're using the past tense," I mention again, my heart racing, each acceleration being picked up by the monitor. "Did she have another stroke? Is she here in the hospital too?""Ellie found her and called the police and then Oliver. By the time anyone reached her, she was already gone. It was her fifth stroke and the doctors said she had stopped taking her medication for a while, maybe six months. She knew what she was doing and she let it happen, but she's gone, Cam."I don't say anything. I unplug myself from the machines, not caring if I was doing more damage than harm. That seems to be the theme of my life anyway. I stumble standing up as the monitor flatlines.Dead. She's dead and it's because of me. Two nurses rush in here immediately, both surprised to see me standing up."I started living with you all six months ago," I say. Trinity seems to put two and two together as her eyes widen and she shakes her head no."Cameron, you know it wasn't like that. We--""Did I miss the funeral?""We had to bury her because the embalming fluid wouldn't last that long. We didn't know when you'd wake up so--""Where is she buried?""Cam--""Why can't I have one GOOD thing stick around in my life? Yeah, I know life isn't supposed to be a walk in the park all the time, but I shouldn't have to drive on a glass road to get close. It doesn't make any sense to me how she can just leave her life like that with no effort. What was her plan for me or you, the twins, or even Oliver?! Why couldn't she stay," I cry out, my insides as broken as my outside. It doesn't make sense. Why is she gone? Why her? Why not some other useless bastard who breaks more than he builds?I turn around and kick a few chairs over in frustration. "Dammit," I yell. Trinity steps back and so do the female nurses. One Male nurse steps forward."Ma'am, I think it's best if--""Don't touch her," I say, my eyes narrowing at his extending arm. The man freezes as Trinity sees his hand and walks over to me. She grabs my left arm and turns to face me."Cam, please. There's nothing I can do for you here," she says in a whisper. "Let's just go home."I didn't have the heart, will or energy to argue against her. So we go home.← → Three days later, on a beautiful Friday afternoon, we were all sitting in the living room with three men. They were the lawyers, one standing in as a witness, one to read the will, and one to delegate the problem. We're the problem."Friday, May 3rd, 2019. In the presence of Oliver Alden Richards., Elizabeth Aahna Asood, Thomas Sai Asood, Trinity Jazmine Green, Marshall Alexander Benning, who is not present, and Cameron Alexander Benning, we read the will of the decedent," the man starts. "With the monetary value of 27 million dollars, the state claims six million for outstanding taxes and debt, leaving an inheritance of 21 million dollars. The first decedent statement goes to Marshall Alexander Benning stating:Marshall my son, thank you for taking your dream and turning it into a lifestyle. Thank you for supporting me, even from afar. I know you don't need the money, so I'll give you that music collection you seem to love so much. Keep up the good work. Promise to visit back home more often. Your family needs you."The next beneficiary is the youth of the decedent" the man states. "Split evenly, each child will receive 4.2 million dollars on their 25th birthday. The decedent quotes:I hope that at this time you will all have enough experience and wisdom to invest in a fulfilling life. Know that I love you all."The final beneficiary is Cameron Alexander Benning to which the decedent gives the remaining assets, excluding the following which will go to the selected organizations of the decedent," the lawyer states.What?All the eyes in the room turn towards me, making me aware that I didn't imagine the words that were just said. As the lawyer reads off the list of things being donated to a cause that's way more important than me, I was stuck in my own head. Why would Gran do this? As if I wasn't the outlier in this group anyway, not to mention that everyone else has at least two years on me, she still decided to give me everything. Was it because we're related by blood? But she's closer to every last one of them so why me?Looking around the room, the same question was being asked loud and clear. It was only a word difference, but you could see it on everyone's face.Why not me?I don't understand this. This doesn't feel right.Without a second glance, I stand up and leave out the room. I head upstairs, bracing my arm as it began throbbing. I pause at the top, not knowing what my next move was. Do I go to my room and pretend this never happened? What would that accomplish? Then again, I can't say I've accomplished much to begin with staying here. "Why you?"I turn to see Oliver standing behind me, breathless, but not from running up the stairs. He stares at me with hate and envy, both of which I don't want or need right now."I don't know," I manage to say. Oliver runs his hands through his hair and clenches his teeth, his face reddening a bit."Why couldn't it have been anyone but you," he says, holding back tears. At that statement, I get mad too."I didn't ask her to do that. I didn't ask her for anything and yet you still hate me. I'm sick of it Oliver. I've been pretty damn respectful to you these past six months and I'm only rude when you are. I don't recall doing anything to piss you off during any given moment so what's your problem with me, huh? You couldn't even act like you like me for her? I don't care if you think I'm an outcast or that you still think I like Trinity or that I'm a waste of space. I know I'm a waste of space. I know I don't belong here. I know that my existence has been a problem for you. I don't care. Gran is the only family I had that matters and cared for me. She's gone and I'm alone. You can keep hating me, but I'm done with caring," I say with finality.Oliver narrows his eyes at me."The first this you got wrong is that you think I hate you. I don't," he says, surprising me."I hate that you have an opportunity."I raise my eyebrows confused. What the hell does that mean?"Whether you care to admit it or not, you're a young white male living in a suburban society with wealthy relatives. Trinity and I are black African Americans whose persecution begins with our skin. Elizabeth and Thomas were born in America, sure, but they'll still be treated as if they were immigrants and they'll be misjudged, misused, and suffer through things you can't understand. You always made these plans to leave because you have that opportunity. We don't. I don't. If I leave, everyone else does too. Whether into the foster system or on the streets, they'd have to be somewhere if I don't stay. Do you think I don't want to see the world? You think I want to be stuck in a drug-filled trifecta of shit and act like this is where I can make a difference? You still go to school online, while I work and work and work just to have a fail-safe in case something like this happens. Your fail safe is the color of your skin and if you don't think that's true, then maybe I do hate you. "Mrs. Anastasia is gone now. She was the last of my family too. She raised me and took care of me and I took care of her too. She was at every basketball game and every track meet. I was there at every sick day and every family outings. I was there through all five of her strokes. You slept through the one that killed her. No, it wasn't your fault, but I know without a doubt that in her last moments, out of everyone in the world, she was looking for you. Only you. Even though I was right there. I felt invisible again. I know you know that I can't remember anything before Mrs. Anastasia. She was my past and now she's gone too. So excuse me if I can't understand how you have such an opportunity and all you can do is waste it. Excuse me if you're given everything after doing nothing. One thing I've learned is to not expect justice in a world that mocks the word," he says, his tears silently falling. "Because even when you have nothing, you still have more than me," he concludes, his words weighing me down. So this is how he really feels. He's not the bad guy and neither am I. We're just products of our circumstance. I couldn't help but feel sorry, even though I can't really change the color of my skin. I can't raise the dead either. Oliver is right, in his own way. I have an opportunity, especially with what's been given to me. I'm going to leave. I'll leave everything given to me here too. Maybe it's an impulsive decision but I don't care.I head back downstairs, wanting to get this reading over with already so I can pack. Before I get very far, the front door opens and I walk through. I thought it was me for a second, but this man was a lot older. He looks around curiously before staring at me."Am I late?"

A/N: I usually write my chapters in google docs and then paste them here. No idea what happened in the pasting process, but I will fix this as soon as possible. I'm not ready for this book to be over. 😭