I Am Cameron

Dusk

I'm not completely sure how everything rushed by me in a blur, but sitting here in the back of an ambulance, watching Ellie become hysterical with fear and sadness was more than I bargained for.

"Jēgē uṭhō, ṭama. Āmākē chēṛē nā daẏā karē. Āmarā pratidina bimāna tairi karatē ēbaṁ cupcakes ēbaṁ ṭunā syānḍa'u'ica anēka khētē pārēna. Śudhu jēgē uṭhō. Āmi āpanāra chāṛā ē'i kāja karatē pārēna nā," she cried. I couldn't understand her, but I knew. I empathize with her pain and fear. As she grasped Tom's unresponsive hand and shook from her sobs, I knew I was useless to help her.

I clench my jaw when the paramedic seemed Highly confused about everything he was doing. Isn't this your job, I think. Before I could speak up, my phone chimes, saying that I got a call.

I look at the caller ID before answering.

"Has anything changed," Trinity asks.

"No. Tom is still unconscious and... not responding," I say, cautious of my words. I doubt Ellie was listening to me. She was still talking to Tom in Bangla as if he was having a conversation with her. Trinity exhales deeply, her voice shuddering. She couldn't hide her fear either. They were in the car behind us, but it felt like she was here next to us.

"How is Ellie," she asks. I shake my head, forgetting she couldn't see me.

"She's crying and speaking in Bangla. I can't understand what she's saying, but I have an idea," I confess. Trinity asks me to hand the phone to Ellie. I hold the phone up to her ear since her hands were intertwined with Tom's and the fabric of his shirt.

After a few bouts of sobs and sniffling from Ellie, Trinity begins talking. I knew immediately that I wasn't invited to the conversation as they spoke in Bangla. The conversation doesn't extend for more than maybe two minutes before we arrive at the nearest hospital. Tom is immediately rushed into the building of the E.R. with the rest of the family f0ll0wing close behind. Ellie is holding onto the hospital bed fiercely, ignoring the nurses who were working on Tom. Gran tried to keep up with us as we zigzagged through the halls. We turned down one hallway labeled "Operating Rooms" in which a doctor and another nurse were already prepping for our entry.

Before we could go in, two security guards step up and tell us we need to stay back. Ellie didn't listen as she tried to push forward and grab the hospital bed again. Her cries grew louder as she realized Tom was out of her reach.

"No," she cries out. "No! I need to be with him. He needs me". Ellie continued pushing past the guards in vain as the doors to the operating room began to shut in front of us.

The security guards wouldn't budge as they got ready to shove her back. Before they could, I run up and pull Ellie into my arms and hold her tight. She fights against me, elbowing me in the lip. I tasted the iron of my blood in my mouth, but I didn't Let her go. I held onto her tighter as she kicked and screamed, begging me to let her go.

"Please! Please! Tama! Āmi tōmāẏa bhālōbāsi," she screams. My heart clenched as she continues speaking to a closed door. "Āmāra sāthē thāka. Āmāra jan'ya phirē āsā. I'll fly you anywhere. I promise Tama."

I couldn't say anything as she got weaker in my arms. I finally relax a bit, lowering her back to the ground. Her screams turned to cries as I led us back to where Gran lost us. Suddenly, Ellie stopped walking altogether. I didn't even try speaking to her. Instead, I just picked her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and started carrying her back to the lobby. Within three seconds, she wraps her arms around my neck and begins crying into my shoulder. The sound of her cry was different now, more sullen and dark. She stopped speaking in Bangla. She stopped speaking altogether and just cried. I was heartbroken for her, but she was worse.

She was empty.

I couldn't comfort her. Who could? I couldn't promise her Tom would be okay. I couldn't promise she would be either. Making a promise about anything seemed wrong altogether, so I said what I knew.

"I've Got you, Ellie."

We get back to the circulation desk to see Gran speaking to the nurse frantically.

"No. No, this is not about what's wrong with me right now. I want to know what is going on with Thomas. Thomas Asood is his name and I need an update on his condition as soon as possible," she says sternly. The nurse at the desk nods.

"Very well," he starts. He begins typing on his keyboard. Gran sighs. She shakes her head before spotting us out of the corner of her eye. She gives a sad smile once she sees Ellie, who exhausted herself to sleep. I walk closer to her, still fixated on her conversation a few seconds ago. Before I could ask, Trinity steps forward.

"What do we do now", she asks. Gran sighs sadly.

"Cameron will drive you two home and I will stay right here until I know Tom is going to be fine," she says with finality, not giving us any room to argue. I wasn't planning on arguing anyway. I'd love to support Tom right now, but memories of being hospitalized keep bombarding my head, making it hard to breathe. I needed to get away as soon as possible.

I nod and take the keys. Trinity seemed reluctant to follow but trailed behind me when Gran went back to talking to the nurse.

The car is parked in the emergency lane, our emergency lights still on. I unlock the car and lie Elizabeth down across the back seats. I spent a short time trying to figure out how to buckle her in but gave up with the resolve to drive slower. I hop into the drivers' seat, before buckling up and turning the car on. We're on the road and heading home in no time.

"How can we help her," Trinity starts. I'm not a doctor or a nurse, nor am I emotionally qualified to help anyone right now, so I know I don't have an answer. I kept quiet so she faced forward, staring blankly at the passerby scenery.

We get to a red light, the engines roar lowering itself to a small hum. I take this chance to glance in the rearview mirror at Elizabeth. Her face was tear stained, with small bursts of tears still flowing, even in her sleep. I don't think I've ever felt more useless in my life. She's only 12. Why does someone so little and so young have to suffer like this? What has she ever done that could have been so wrong to induce this kind of pain? What have any of us ever done for us to end up like this?

I look at Trinity. She was still staring blankly in front of her until she became aware of my gaze. The light turned green and I begin driving again, my eyes on the road.

"What was she saying," I ask, clearing my throat. "You know, when the guards stopped us?"

Trinity is silent for a few seconds.

"She told him to stay with her, that he needed her. She told him to come back and made a promise to fly him anywhere he wanted to. I love you... And things like that," Trinity finishes. I nod along. Letting her know that I was still listening.

"I don't know how to help her. If I try to bring up James, it would seem like I've given up on Tom. I wish--"

"It's... It's okay to not have an answer," I say, not really meaning to interrupt her. "The question of life and everything about it is rhetorical. It's not supposed to have an answer. We just do what we can how we can."

Trinity is silent for a while and nods.

"What can I do then?"

I shake my head.

"I don't know," I say.

A/N: I'm a linguist. I love languages and Bengali has interested me for a while. I'm going to make sure I have a proper grasp of Japanese before I try another language, but Bengali is definitely on my bucket list.