30 Day Challenge

Day 2: I remain nocturnal, agree to be a spy and try to figure out who I am

Soo... It's four in the morning and here I am... The birds started tweeting a few minutes ago and I want to stangle them. But then I remember that I'd rather not go outside. I got a sun burn from yesterday. I was outside for maybe 5 hours and only one of them were spent in direct sun light and now my arms are burning... The thing is just that it's only my arms, my shoulder and legs are as pale as the sheet I'm sitting on here in bed.

Sometimes I think that if the government ever needed a spy to infiltrate a madhouse (you know one of those with entirely sterile white walls, floors, doors, everything.) they's only need to ask... I would just be able to stand by the white interior and be completely invisble, and if they by some miracle caught me, it would be  a madhouse...! They would never suspect a thing, those evil looneybin-people. I'd tots be up for that mission, it would make for a cool story later on, if I survived ;)

 ....

it's eight in the morning now... still pretty fucking nocturnal over here.

I haven't eaten since i "went to bed" at about ten, and I'm feeling the grumpies....! and also a bit nauseatious... I'm just a very healthy person obviously. (I'll probably end up having chinese shortcakes for breakfast too)

....

 It's now half past 11 in the evening and I just read somewhere that if you don't eat with regular small intervals, your metabolism will slow down, and not a lot of people want that, so basically ~ To the kitchen!!

I'm eating a shotcake right now... delicious.

Haha anyhoo. I'm thinking  that just writing about my day will get a bit boring.  At least as long as it's merely the actions not the thoughts behind. I'm gonna try and bring this to a more philosophical level! And maybe even start proofreading this shizzle... no promises on that last one though.

...

I wrote a short story nearly a year ago which I have here on wattpad, just not published, and I think I might wanna rewrite a few thing within it and publish it as I actually quite like it. It doesn't happen very often that I like something a year after I've made so..

Also the story, when I made it, I was just writting down some random stuff about a crappy day I'd had in school but then started changing it more and more and by the ending I was like "i'm gonna make a bit of a plot twist here!".

When I reread it I realised that it was still entirely about me and that I'm not hetero. like I literally read it the other day and after the last sentence exclaimed: 

"Goodness me, I'm gay."

Though I'm not really, I'm probably bi. Though who knows it might be a phase? haha it's not though, been a very long phase then! It's just a bit confusing.. I'm more attracted to the female body type, but I prefer the male personality.. I think.. suppose you can't really stereotype it like that. *sigh* I'm terrified of approaching a woman in a flirty manner though.

Ah well... twice as many people to fear rejection from! ain't life beautiful! I guess it's actually really nice to understand yourself a little better, but I just still don't know who I am... You know that feeling? Damn this some existenciel shit right here... I guess I'll just carry on stumbling confused and unknowing through life. It's worked fairly well this far!  And now it's past midnight and I've written 626 words and will retire for the day. Maybe actually sleeping.. lol jk, tumblr here I come..