At times of my worst
I think of your arms
sliding firm around my waist
I think of your hot tears
and of your voice cracking
and the way you plead for five more minutes
the way you plead for five more years
the way you speak of every life we hold
I remember the way I asked you to let go
I remember when you asked me to stop this
and of the anger in your voice
and of the sadness in your soul
I've kept you to myself knowing I was pain
I am the fire that burns your lungs
you are the fire that burns my soul
you've given me yourself
I've given you my weight
I remember the way it feels
when you hold me
I remember the strength I feel
when your hands wrap me closer
I remember the pain I feel
knowing you are right
knowing I want to stay with you
and knowing it is wrong
and knowing you'll be hurt
and knowing I still will
because I'm a selfish heart
and I only want my pain to stop
and if it hurts you
I don't know if I could stop
you are made of strength
and you are made of love
and you are made of all the things
I wish I could be myself
I wish I could be as sure as you
as kind as you
as selfless as you
I wish that I could love like you
in a way which doesn't end
until the other one gives up
but is still strong enough
to push the pain away
I wish that I could speak like you
in confidence off your rolling tongue
no matter how unsure I become
I wish that I could fight like you
in a passion of never ending grace
the way you hold me
holds your soul
and if I push
I know you'll let go
but if I stay
I wish I knew what to say
because nowadays I don't know if I'm the same
I can't tell if we're the same
I feel alone and cold
I feel alone and afraid
and when I cry
cold water runs out of my eyes
my voice quivers in fear
and my strength leaves
until I'm the ball of blank paper
which you can throw in the trash
we are nothing alike
and I love you for it
YOU ARE READING
Poems of Death
Puisi***TRIGGER WARNING*** Feel close to death? Maybe you're not quite as close as you think. These are poems I wrote for me and people I love; some were gifts and others are just my thoughts. These are my own words and images. Although this is for mysel...