Bleeding Souls

Ch. 24-Choir

This will be one of my favorite chapters to talk about. This was one of the highlights of my time in high school. This will be about ne joining choir. Joining choir opened up a whole new avenue for me and was one of the best decisions I ever made, but I'm moving too fast. Lets start from the beginning.

     

     Freshman year was coming to a close and it was interesting. I met some amazing people and went through some tough times throughout the year. But this isn't about those times. Anyways, as I have mentioned before I love music. Every soul has a song that wants be heard and listened to. My song is an extension of myself, a physical manifestation of my soul, and allows me to be free but because of years of belittlement, and being told how worthless I was, my song was not loud as it once was. I developed a very severe case of stage fright and as a result I would sing quietly to myself, I had to sing because it was a part of who I was but I didn't want anyone to hear me. I was afraid that if they heard me they would hate the way I sounded and tell me

"Shut up, you sing terribly,"

     All of my friends tried convincing me to join choir in high school, they constantly told me that I had the voice for choir. Sadly I could not bring myself to believe them or what they said. There was always this creeping sensation of doubt in the back of my mind. The fear that I wouldn't make it if I auditioned, so this kept me from even trying out at first. However, at the end of the year the choir had this scouting type of activity that they did. The teacher would ask the students who they thought should be in choir. Little did I know that most of the people that heard me sing were in choir, so they told the choir director, Ms. Beck that I should join. I found out because one day while I was in band. My band director had received a letter that was addressed to me from the Ms. Beck. He handed it to me and I read it, and it said

"Dear Allen, It has been made aware to me that you can sing!!! You should come and audition for choir."

     I was in such disbelief, I could not believe what I was reading. I asked Shelby and Amber if this was really happening, and they both told me almost the same exact thing. They both told me that when Ms. Beck asked who should be in choir, almost everyone in the room said my name. This is what pushed me to join choir, there were people that had heard me sing and thought that I was more than good enough to join choir.  I can still remember the day of the audition. I was standing out in the hall with my friends waiting for when it was time for me to audition. I was panicking a lot. I was so nervous that I would mess up my audition and I would not get into the choir at all. Luckily I had Amber by my side to calm down and talk me through everything. She helped get rid of my nerves and she helped me power through my stage fright. 

     Finally the moment had arrived...it was time for me to audition. The song I chose was "I need your love" By Calvin Harris featuring Ellie Goulding. I stepped into the choir room and Ms. Beck and Mr. Baker(the assistant director at the time) were sitting at the table with all different types of paper work from previous auditions. I told them who I was, what song I would be singing... and then I just let go. I sang with all the passion in the world. My soul coming out and into the real world. It was the first time in years that I had shown people the song that my soul had been hiding. I left that room feeling like I had given my all.

     After that I went home and just waited...weeks passed and I started giving up, thinking that I didn't make it because all of my friends were getting call back letters. I came home and checked the mail every single day but there was...nothing. I thought to myself

"Maybe I wasn't good enough to get into choir after all."

     Then it finally came, my call back letter...just when I started to believe that I hadn't been good enough to make it into choir. After call backs I got in. I was finally doing something I adored. It lifted me so high and made the song, MY song, louder. It helped me gain confidence and overcome my stage fright. Joining choir was one of the best decisions that I ever made. It let me be myself without being ashamed and I would meet even more incredible individuals that inspired me.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. On to the next one!