Someone Else's Diary

21. What??!.

"And suddenly all the love songs were about you".

Mariam

My heart heaved taking slow steps as I walked past the critical care unit. Each step of mine echoed in my own ears, My hands felt weak holding Zahran's report. My whole self-felt even weaker that he never told me about his disease. I slumped down onto the chair beside the nurse's station, The chair slightly moved and created a small screeching sound at that quiet atmosphere, two nurses looked up with their eyes wide.

I shrugged apologetically and ran my fingers through my thick brown locks and gritted my teeth out of frustration, The worst part is Zahran's not even fit for dialysis and his kidney function had dropped to twenty per cent. I swallowed the lump down my throat and decided to talk to Dr Sameer about Zahran's lupus.

I got up carefully not wanting to create any sounds and forced my cerebrum to get my legs to function as I walked back to the Nephrology department. As soon as my hands reached the doorknob of the doctor's consulting room, Dr.Sameer itself opened from inside of the room and gave me a warm smile.

"Good afternoon Mrs Mariam. please sit inside I'll be right back in a second!" He said and walked hurriedly until the retina of my eyes couldn't see it.

I sat on one of the chairs and controlled myself from spilling the salty tears out. The door opened and Sameer had two reports in his hands, He walked towards me and placed it in front of the table.

"As you already know about this, There's nothing much for me to explain," He said and sat on his chair.

"Well, Fiona gave me the file and His report but is there any way to save him from this?"
I asked clearly knowing the answer.

He looked thoughtful for a moment as my eyes slightly widened rising the hopes inside my silly mind.
"I'm sorry Mrs Mariam," He said and pressed his lips in a tight line.

"But I need to let you know about his condition as he wouldn't have told you!"
He said and waited for my response.

I gave a half nod looking at him intently.

"We all know there's no permanent cure for lupus but there's medication to control it.. but Zahran has crossed that stage because of his negligence, Being a doctor he himself shouldn't have been this careless about his health. I had the idea of kidney dialysis but then I thought about a better plan!"

I was dumbstruck not knowing what to say. It seems like Zahran had already known about his disease and he had been least bothered about it. Such a jerk! Sameer spoke trying hard to make me confident, I looked at him in silence waiting for him to continue.

"Um I have spoken to the transplant centre to ask for a transplant evolution I just did it as Zahran was okay with the idea of kidney transplantation but then anyways we need to ask you being his wife."

Dr Sameer also knew I was Zahran's wife and that I needed to know about the transplant and stuff but then Zahran didn't even bother to give me a clue about all these. Sameer handed me a linen handkerchief and only then I realised about the tears streaming down my cheeks. My throat went dry knowing that I meant nothing to Zahran, I clawed at my full-length skirt and forced out my words.

"Have you got any donors for Zahran?"I asked stammering.

"Not yet but I feel it would be nice if we got it as soon as possible so we could schedule the date and start the process," He said looking everywhere and thinking carefully.