Someone Else's Diary

23. He's dead?

~2 months later~

Mariam

It's almost my seventh day at work since I took an off and I'm already enjoying the feeling of being alone and independent from my house, family and Zahran as well.
Though he has been treating me well since the day he found out the truth, my mind doesn't seem to accept him like before and I don't want to piss him off when he's already weak and sick. I dared to open up and spill out all the truth from within but still, he keeps hiding many more hidden stories of my mum's death. Which disgusted me of course.
Another patient knocked on my door flipping me away from my thoughts and as my monotonous work life started.

This young woman came in with her husband and 32 weeks old baby in her womb, she was here for her regular checkup before the delivery and her happiness was beyond describing, her face glowed and her eyes twinkled.
The couple seemed to be very excited to welcome their soon to arrive, baby.

And suddenly guilt pricked inside my heart, it had been almost a few months since we got married and I never even let my husband come near me and I'm definitely making him wait which is also a sin for me, even at my house or at my workplace people started shooting questions indirectly in a silly annoying tone 'any good news?'

Nowadays my shifts were getting even more hectic and it made me drift away from my home or Zahran. I tried to go home early as the night duty doctors are present here. It feels peaceful to just look at his clear-cut face and his dark eyes. His face flared up with butterfly rashes and he felt weak doing his everyday activities
As days passed Zahran's condition was dropping miserably as he also went through dialysis and many more medications for his lupus. Even after all these days, there was no proper match for the transplant, He doesn't accept that he is getting sick and sicker every day.

I got up pushing the chair behind me and squirted the sterilium on my palms and rubbed it vigorously and grabbed my trench coat from the hook as I walked out as fast as possible not wanting to waste any minute.

Our new driver Mr Aakif opened my door and waited until I put lean legs fully inside. He seems to be very kind though. I leaned against the window pondering what to do next. I wanted to leave everyone and shift somewhere else but Zahran's disease kept me going on and making this marriage work. And Oh! I forgot to mention that I changed the hospital for my work. I felt too disturbed and devastated surrounded by people who kept asking me about Zahran's health condition and the look of their familiar eyes pitying me got me too screwed up.

Mr Aakif pulled around the driveway and I got out of the car before he could open the door for myself. He gave me a slight nod and I ran inside the main door with my pumps still on my foot.

I ran up the stairs and found my sexy husband shirtless with his black slacks on and busy playing ps4. No matter how long I've seen him or known him, I still get those tiny butterflies whenever I catch a glimpse of him.

His eyes glued to the television screen as his fingers skilfully controlled the joystick, I gulped down dropping my messenger bag onto the floor and hung my coat over my hands as I leaned against the wall lurking at him.

He was too busy playing that he didn't even notice me come inside and drop my bags and create a bustle of noises.

"Mrs Zahran, why are you gawking at me?"

He asked pausing his game as he turned around from the couch and rested his chin above it.

"Uh What?"