Someone Else's Diary

22. Sorry.

'What is meant for you, will reach you even if it's beneath two mountains. And what isn't meant for you won't reach you even if it's between your two lips'.

Mariam

The phone slipped out of my hands and fell on the table, I felt hot tears cascade down my cheeks as my vision blurred, I shut my eyes tight until I felt all the tears were out, I rubbed my face vigourously and re-read the message to make sure that I had read it right. I decided to put an end to everything that I had dreamed of. I ran inside the house as I dodged everything which came in my way. I instantly wiped my face dry as I saw people roaming here and there. I went inside our room and straight to the walkin closet and brushed my fingers touching all my clothes which neatly hung from the dark wooden hanger. My eyes wandered here and there not knowing what to do.

My phone buzzed making me jump out of my place, I glanced at the screen and it read Dr. Sameer. Why was he calling me now.
My fingers harshly swiped the screen to attend the call.

"We still don't have a match for Zahran and from what Zahran told me today I can confirm that he has been having lupus for nearly three years!"

He spoke crisp and clear. I was stuck in between my own mind of hating my husband and loving him at the same time.

"Oh! But wasn't there any symptoms?"

I asked clearing my throat. He murmured something and said,

"Ofcourse there was with what He told me....but they were mild symptoms as it differs from person to person."

"Hmm so what are you planning for him now?"

I spoke keeping the phone tight between my shoulder blades and my ears as I had to put away few clothes lying over the bed.

''Just looking for a match and yeah we are in an emergency."

His voice rang clear into my ear. I licked my lips and thought for a while.

"I'll call you once we get a match and even you please try from your side now I got to go... Assalamu alaikum."

"Walaikum asalam wa rahmatullah."

I managed to reply for his salam. I threw the phone on the bed and walked out with frustration taking control of me. Just then I heard a familiar feminine voice calling out my name from downstairs.
I peeked clearly knowing whom it was as I ran down throwing the dupatta over my shoulders.

I crashed into a hug as it had been ages since I saw my long lost best friend Hira. I mindlessly cried hugging her as she whispered 'it was gonna be okay' but it clearly won't. I shook my head like a child and asked if we could go out and talk. She nodded her head silently and got the keys out of her bag.

We drove towards our Uni not knowing where to go. I hated myself for loving Him who knew about my mother's death and hid it from me and hated Him even more for hiding his disease from me. I told everything I knew to Hira as she listened to me patiently and waited for my sobs to subside. I rested my head against the window.

Her eyebrows raised causing wrinkles on her forehead as she looked at me with her wide hazel eyes popping out.

"So he wanted you like the sand yearned to be washed over by the ocean, But let me ask.. What did he do to earn you?"