Someone Else's Diary

29. And here he comes.

I instantly closed my eyes and let out my breath as it came out laboured. My fingers started trembling as I reached for the doorknob of my house. I poked my head outside and checked if those Jahannam-going men were still following me.

I fished in the keys so hurriedly that I couldn't even find them at first. I immediately started reciting Ayatul Kursi when I stepped inside the house. I locked the door and double checked it just in case...

I wish they won't be lurking outside my place. Just then as I walked towards the bathroom, My phone buzzed. A smile automatically curved up my lips as I read the name. It was Hira who had texted me now at this time of the hour. Secretly I wished it was Zahran.

Hira: How about we talk about something important and sensitive? 12.27AM.

Mariam: And what would that be? 12.28AM.

Hira: Texting would be a bad option. I'll be waiting for you at Snowflake Luxury Gelato on Thursday. Wardour Street. 12.30AM.

I almost screamed at her text. Did she really mean she was coming here?

Mariam: Are... 12.32AM.

Hira: Exactly don't type and waste my time. I'm coming to visit you on Thursday so don't mess up. 12.34AM.

I chuckled at her text. She knew what I was going to ask her next. It was good to know someone wanted to visit me at home. Even though it has been just a day away from them. But I wondered what Hira wanted to talk to me. I mean, why is it so important to talk in person than through texts.

I could no longer restrain myself from using the bathroom so I left the phone and went in to do my business. I also took in the small pouch in which I had hidden Zahran's perfume. I sprayed it on myself and closed my eyes inhaling sharply smiling like a child.

I heard few men yapping out on the streets as suddenly I felt a wave of heat mixed with sweat form over the temples of my small forehead. I could definitely not handle or escape from those men who were about to attack me hardly an hour before. Maybe they were drunk and out of their minds or them deliberately trying to touch me, Allahu A'lam.

I made Wudu and dried my legs as I stepped out of the bathroom with nothing but only my sweatshirt as I suddenly heard the branches of the trees shaking vigorously outside my window. It was very creepy and it felt like it was someone purposely shaking the branches. I started reciting all the Duas and Surahs which ever came to my mind at the moment because I couldn't run out or call anyone for help right now. I pulled down the blinds of the window and made sure every window and door was shut and locked.

I took out my classic black Abaya and tied it loosely around myself as I had to pray Isha. I decided not to use a prayer mat as I usually get distracted seeing the patterns, colours or designs over them. The floor was cold but that didn't bother me much.

I sat down doing thasbih with my fingers and kind of felt things buzzing into my three-pound brain. Suddenly, I started to contemplate the days when I started dating Zahran. Maybe it was those Haram things which never gave us any Barakah and maybe we are suffering for that now? And being separated from each other?

But then still it was me who decided to leave. I would never blame anyone for my ridiculous and haphazard decision.

At least He could have stopped me...

But I do know this, I'm grateful for the time we shared and that bond between us which can't be denied.
He could have opened up to me instead of treating me like he never cared. I wish my mum never died and I wish Zahran never got to do anything related to it. But still, he would not tell me.